


halves, quarters

by Drenched



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Avatar Rarepair Exchange 2021, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Republic City, Spies & Secret Agents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:41:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29241498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drenched/pseuds/Drenched
Summary: The war has changed. In the days of Sozin and his daughter, Fire Lord Kazue, the Fire Nation fought with armies and warships and brought the world to its knees. But Kazue saw that the war was unsustainable. That they were going to lose. So she taught her son peace. She showed her firstborn Azulon how to reach a stalemate, how to end the war without letting anyone know they had lost. This is your legacy, she promised him: remaining a global power without shedding any more blood.Fire Lord Azulon cooled down the war, but people still fight. The world is no longer a warzone, a multicultural city has sprung up on Fire Nation conquered lands they've ostensibly given back to the Earth Kingdom. The Four Nations live in peace, but a charged wind blows throughout the world. Everyone with a nose can smell sulfur, can tell the half-brokered peace is a powder keg. This world is unsustainable, something will set it alightThe war has changed. It's traded armies for intelligence; small groups of highly skilled individuals fight for their Nation in the shadows. People like Sokka and Suki, who are about to rip the Fire Nation a new one and trick these sons-a-bitches into giving up all their intel.Or so they think.
Relationships: Mai/Sokka (Avatar), Mai/Sokka/Suki/Zuko (Avatar), Mai/Suki (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Sokka/Suki/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Suki/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 23
Collections: Avatar Rarepair Exchange 2021





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fabulous_but_evil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabulous_but_evil/gifts).



> Okay here we go!!!! This is my fill for the Avatar Rarepair exchange, late because my computer crapped out on me. But this was SO FUN to write, I had such a great time and I hope you guys like it!
> 
> In this AU there's another Fire Lord in between Sozin and Azulon so we can bring the Gaang into the Republic City Era purely for the aesthetic. In my head, Republic City looks like Post WWII Berlin: a city divided into different sections, with different countries/nations controlling them. 
> 
> WARNING: there's some slurs in this piece, specifically faggot and dyke. I'm imagining this in like a thirties time period, and so I think slurs would have entered their vocabulary by this point, and I wanted to include ones we know so they would have the right impact on the reader.
> 
> There's so much more, and I'm not totally sure when it'll go up but definitely soon! I'm working on it. In the meantime, have at this first chapter.

Sokka hesitates, before entering the tea shop. He’d die before admitting that to anyone, but he can't quite manage to go in on the first try. He hesitates, breathes in the bracing, dirty urban air. Republic City races around him, a city on a powder keg.

Another deep breath. One more, for posterity.

He gathers his wits about him, shoves the door open. The little bell jangles cheerily, alerting everyone in the quaint little shop to his arrival. Qi Hao’s Tea is half full, as it always is, which is why he and Suki had picked it. 

Sokka can’t help himself, as soon as he walks onto the place his eyes cheat left and find Suki. It's a mistake, he should’ve spent more time looking around to find his date, instead of looking where he’d know she’d be. But a small enough mistake that no one will notice.

He’s raking himself over the coals anyway as he approaches her table. “Hey,” she says, voice easy, but her eyes are gently reproachful, soothing all the same. 

"Hey," he says back with a half smile and a shrug. What's done is done, he can't go back and fix it.

Suki nods approvingly. "Look alive," She murmurs from her seat. "I have eyes on the target. On your six."

Sokka's heart races with excitement, but he takes a deep breath, trying to keep his cool. He carefully takes off his large overcoat, placing it on the low chair opposite her. 

Still not turning around, Sokka takes a step towards Suki, leans down to give her a hug. "How you doing undercover, Wang Fire?" she says under her breath, and when she leans back she's wearing a smirk. 

"My name is not _Wang Fire_ ," Sokka says haughty, fixing his red jacket over his shoulders. Although most people tend to shed their nation's identifying colors as soon as their feet hit urban ground, old habits die hard, and patriotism dies harder. Here in the Fire Nation's sector a smattering of reds and blacks mark the customers populating the chairs and tables around them. 

Patriotism dies harder, but there are plenty of Earth Kingdom greens and even a few Water Tribe blues at the tables and couches of the shop. Good tea overcomes all barriers.

Sokka tugs at the collar of his black shirt, does _not_ look longingly at the familiar tunics of the Water Tribe. Fire Nation colors sit strange on Sokka's body, on his conscience, but he forces the discomfort out of his mind. It's for the _mission_ , he reminds himself with excitement. He's got a role to play.

Sokka turns, pretending to search for a menu around the cozy, low-lit space. He lets his eyes catch on the pale, plain-faced girl with a bun on each side of her head and bangs hanging over her eyes, sitting alone at a table near the door. Sokka and Suki had known she'd be here, they’d spent ages watching her every move and memorizing her schedule. When they'd realized she came here at least once or twice a week, they decided it was as good a place as any to make first contact. The constant low hum of customers is a plus, empty enough that Suki will be able to keep ears and eyes on him from anywhere in the shop, full enough so that they won’t be noticed.

He notices her but makes his eyes slide past her, to the menu penciled neatly on the wall. Pretending to inspect it, Sokka counts to twenty in his head. Then he shucks his second outer layer, a thin jacket, and lets his eyes take in the tea shop. He looks over the girl again, does an obvious double take. Turns on the charm. Schools his face into appreciative interest. She looks up, then quickly looks down again, smiling shyly.

Mentally, Sokka pumps his fist in the air. Step one of engagement, check.

Turning back to Suki, he drapes his jacket over the back of a chair, sits down.

Across the table, Suki’s got an eyebrow raised. “Nicely done,” she whispers, leaning close to him once he’s settled. She draws her rust-colored jacket up over her shoulders. Suki's wearing browns and dull purples, a look that doesn’t belong to any one nation, but Sokka knows she’s prepared to pull either an earth kingdom or fire nation accent, depending on what the situation requires later on. His girlfriend looks beautiful in the low light of the afternoon sun, and Sokka’s annoyed he can’t tell her so.

“Thanks,” he says instead. 

"Run through the plan again," Suki instructs, and Sokka rolls his eyes. “In a few minutes I’m going to spill a drink in front of her. Hopefully then I can introduce myself.”

Not that Sokka needs to. Akane Ito, daughter of grocers in the Fire Sector’s shopping district. Just signed a lease on an apartment a wall’s thickness away from a Fire Nation Intelligence Agency’s headquarters. Hopefully Sokka can semi-permanently install himself in her apartment, at least long enough to case the headquarters so he and Suki can break in later. Bring home some good intel for the Federation.

Suki nods. “Wait just two more minutes. Make sure you’re looking in her eyes when you—"

“I know how to flirt with girls, Suki!” Sokka says hotly. Suki chuckles at his expression. “I know, I know,” she says fondly, reaching up to straighten his collar. “You know I _love_ watching you get comfy with the opposite sex. Go get ‘em.”

Sokka nods, picks up a couple of copper pieces from his coin purse, and makes his way to the counter. “Milk oolong, trip on the rug, start a conversation,” he chants in his head. “Milk oolong, trip on the rug, start a conversation.”

This plan is, of course, fucked out of his head the second he sees who's behind the tea shop’s counter.

“ _Lee?_ ” he gasps, feeling like he’s been punched in the gut. Lee? From Ba Sing Se? Is it really him? What is he doing here?

All of a sudden, Sokka leaves Republic City behind, finds himself dropped into half a year ago, on a solo trip to the Earth Kingdom. He has to check himself, stop his arm from running across his forehead to catch the sweat that's always dotted there. Sokka only knows Lee in the heat of an Earth Kingdom summer. He practically has to squint against the harsh sunlight from the memory, blinks furiously at the dust that always ran riot outside of the Jasmine Dragon Tea shop.

He'd met Lee in Ba Singh Se, on a research trip to work at the University. They hadn't spent that much time together, really only one night, but Sokka… 

Well, Lee has prime real estate in Sokka's brain.

Lee jumps when Sokka says his name, and Sokka half wonders if he’s gotten it wrong, but no. His hair might be longer, but the scar running along the side of his face and blotting out an eye is unmistakable. What the hell is Lee doing in Republic City? And in the middle of Sokka's mission, no less?

“Lee! What are you doing here? Why did you leave Ba Singh Se?”

“Uh...I decided it was time to move on? See my family again?” Lee offers, scratching aimlessly at the apron over his chest. Sokka’s eyes are drawn to his hand, the hair that hangs in his eyes. He looks good, Sokka realizes with a jolt. A little thinner, but good.

“But I thought your dad—" Sokka stops when Lee flinches. Right. Lee hadn't told him much in that department, only that his Dad was terrible and he'd fled to live with his Uncle in the Earth Kingdom. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to—"

“Sorry, do I...know you?” Sokka swallows hard. Doesn’t Lee remember? “Um, you obviously know me from when I worked...I mean, when I lived in Ba Singh Se, but I don’t…” Lee trails off awkwardly.

“Yeah, we, uh,” Sokka scritches at the back of his neck. He turns half around, forces himself to take a couple of deep breaths and slow the fuck down. Tries to get his act together. Does a slow sweep of the cafe to slow his heartbeat before he faces Lee again. “We met while I was staying there for a while.” 

Lee doesn’t remember. The more logical part of Sokka’s brain tries to remind him that this is totally reasonable, he and Lee had gotten really, _really_ drunk the night they met. But Sokka's sensitive heart is quaking a bit, he had thought...well, he had thought what he and Lee had was _special_.

"Okay." Lee's face is carefully blank. "I, uh, what's your name?"

Sokka opens his mouth, then closes it quickly. What should he say? In Ba Singh Se there hadn't been a reason to be anyone other than himself, he'd had a brief vacation and used the time to work with an engineering professor at Ba Singh Se University. He had first introduced himself to Lee as Sokka. But here he needs to be somebody else, here he's on a mission.

 _The mission. Shit_. 

He needs to get this mission back on track, but what should he say to Lee? Seeing him again has made Sokka's stomach act up in knots, he's not thinking clearly, he--

"Hey, Tun, you okay?" Suki steps up to the counter beside him, using their closeness as an opportunity to briefly slide her hip against his. She must sense his panic, must have seen the situation spiralling rapidly out of Sokka's control. _Remember this mission. Remember your identity. Calm down._

Suki doesn't wait for him to answer, and Sokka's grateful for it. "Can I get a refill on this jasmine, please?" she asks, handing her empty cup to Lee behind the counter. Her interruption clears Sokka's head, just as she intended it to. She always seems to know what he needs.

He knocks his hip against hers again while Lee pours her tea. Thank you. I needed that. She smiles at him, ducking her head. "Thanks," she says, accepting the cup Lee before heading back to their table. Sokka turns back to Lee with renewed purpose. Although he wants to interrogate Lee, figure out what he's doing here (get him to remember that night), he shoves all that aside. He's here for a sting. He's here for the Southern Water Tribe, their intelligence operations. He's here for the Federation.

"My name is Tun," Sokka says easily. 

The mission, teetering on its access, regains its balance. Sokka isn't Sokka. His name is Tun.

(Is this lying? Sort of. It isn't going easy down Sokka's throat, if that's any indication. But if Lee doesn't remember him anyway, what's the harm? It's just some guy he met and...and hung out with _one time_ , he tells himself sternly, even as his heart protests. The mission has to come first.)

His name is Tun. He's here to meet his friend for tea and become starstruck by the beautiful woman sitting by the door, and hopefully get into her pants. Tun's a bit of a misogynist, a trait pulled from Sokka's pre-Suki days.

(When Suki had called him Tun, called him by his false name, she'd all but ensured Lee wouldn't remember him. Maybe if he tells Lee his real name, he'll remember. He… he wants to, he wants to share this memory with the other person in it, reveal himself to the man who's starred consistently in his daydreams when he feels prone to what-ifs, but he's not going to do it. He knows Suki's right. But he finds himself annoyed Suki's picked the choice from his hands.

Not that she knows anything about this, he realizes guiltily. It was from before they were together, and he chose to keep her in the dark.

He and Lee had only made out a _little bit_ , he says in the privacy of his heart. It's fine. It's fine.

Sokka's a realist, but even he's prone to dreaming. What if he hadn't gotten called back to the Federation the day after he'd met Lee? What if he hadn't had to pull that mission? What if he'd stayed in Ba Singh Se, and they'd gotten to know each other, really gotten to know each other?

It's fine. He replays their kissing in his head at least once every two weeks, but it’s _fine._ )

"Can I get a cup of milk oolong, please?" Sokka adds. What's done is done. He feels sort of bad for rushing through his order, but he needs to get out of here. But Lee looks pleased that he isn't pushing for more information about their time in Ba Singh Se. "Sure thing," he says, turning around to get the tea. "I'm sorry I don't remember you," he says with his back to Sokka.

"No problem, man, I understand." I remember enough for the both of us, Sokka wants to say. I remember coming into your shop and seeing you and being utterly blown away, I remember how raspy your voice is, I remember that you can't hear on your left side, I--

 _One time_ , he reminds himself again. It was one time. You'll deal with this later.

Fuck, his stomach is knots. That had been too much too fast. Sokka needs a break, or a real drink. He takes the opportunity to lean his back against the counter, letting his gaze survey the tea shop. He rests on Akane Ito again, gives her a winning smile. She ducks her gaze again, but manages to smile back at him after a moment.

He accepts his tea from Lee, heart jumping in his chest. When Sokka turns back to Ito, she's still smiling. He can do this. He can do this.

This is going to be a piece of cake.

***

Zuko flattens his palms on the counter, tries to keep his breathing steady as he watches Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe artfully spill the full cup of tea right in front of where they'd placed Mai by the door. The man Mai and Zuko plan to double cross does the move pretty well. It definitely fooled the other people in the tea shop and would've fooled Zuko, had he not been trained to notice that sort of thing.

With shaking hands, he forces himself to get the mop from the storage closet, slowly walks over to Mai and the Water Tribe boy, where he's apologizing profusely for soaking the bottoms of her pants. In the back of his mind Zuko smiles dryly, thinking about how pissed Mai must be that she's had to sacrifice her best trousers to the poor planning of this bumbling idiot. Another loss taken for the Fire Nation Intelligence Agency, another sacrifice for the mission.

The mission. Zuko resolutely plods the sodden mop through the small puddle of tea and wonders just what the fuck is going on. He wants desperately to look at Mai, to see what her face is doing, but he won't be able to control his own if their eyes meet from this close. He and Mai have been planning this for _months_ , carefully setting everything in place so they can present her as Akane Ito, an appealing target for the Federation. If this works, they'll control just what information the Federation is receiving about the Fire Nation Intelligence Agency, and distract them from the bigger fish they should be frying. 

And now it's all gone and fucked because this guy happened to run into Zuko while he was with his Uncle, during what Azula likes to call his lost days.

If he were still in Uncle's tea shop, he would have to sit through Uncle's quiet grumblings over the waste of a good cup of tea that had ended up on the floor.

Zuko grits his teeth, tries to clean up the tea as quickly as possible. Thinking about Uncle under good circumstances would have been dangerous, and thinking about his time in Ba Singh Se now practically has him sliding towards a panic attack. How does this fucker know who he is? What did they do together in Ba Sing Se? What did Zuko tell him? Zuko inhales sharply, trying to keep it together. He doesn't want to think about this, he wants to finish the mission without any distractions, but he needs to remember what happened between him and Sokka, or else it will become a liability. He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to delve into his memory without knocking on too many doors he keeps locked for a reason.

His father and Azula are right, he's always been so shit at going undercover. This mission is going to be totally fucked, and then they'll have his head on a pike. If only this were going as planned, and Zuko could stay quietly behind the counter, serving tea and puttering around and keeping an eye on things while Mai did the talking.

Three sharp raps on wood pull him out of his mind, and his grip tightens on the mop in his hands. Mai. He finishes cleaning up, walks quickly back to the counter so he can survey her table from a distance. She seems totally fine, smiling prettily at Sokka as he yaks on about something. The smile sits odd in Zuko's stomach, he almost recognizes it from when they first started dating. It's strange seeing it on her face from far away.

She raps her fist on the table again, her signal that she has the situation under control. He reads her lips, watches her introduce herself as Akane Ito. Her gaze remains on Sokka, but she does a small flicking motion with her wrist. He can go to the back of the shop, get out from under the imagined gaze of the customers. Have a panic attack in peace.

He doesn't waste any time; spares half a glance to make sure the little bell is placed in front of the cash box and absolutely legs into the storage closet. Zuko shoves open the little window inside and all but jumps through it, wriggling until he manages to get his shoulders out and then scaling the short wall onto the roof. He collapses there, sprawling out until his foot is hanging over the edge. Zuko presses himself against the harsh metal, ridges digging painfully into his back, closes his eyes and sends a sharp burst of fire streaming out of his mouth. He inhales harshly, does it again, mixing meditative breaths between spurts of flame until he's worked off his edge, calmed down enough to reassess.

He runs through the situation again, trying to keep it straight. He's been made… maybe? Sokka obviously recognized him from his few months in exile with his Uncle, but that doesn't mean he knows who he is here. Or maybe he does? He knew to ask about his father, Zuko must have told him something, but what? Did he tell him he was from the Fire Nation? The scar pretty much speaks for itself, it's hard to get an injury like his away from home, but maybe he told Sokka that it was a genuine accident and he believed him? Unless he thinks he got in Republic City? But he asked what Zuko was doing here, he must know he isn't part of the Fire Nation diaspora here. 

Zuko sighs, repositioning his body with his good ear closer to the window so he can hear the bell sound if a customer needs him. He thunks his head against the roof, wishing he could just _remember_. Wishing he had a cigarette, but Uncle had shaken him out of that habit.

Inhaling sharply again, he tries to force his thoughts into a U-turn. Thinking about Uncle usually makes him feel like he's swallowed a pin cushion.

Blinking in the sun, Zuko tries to focus on the lessons his Uncle had taught him. _Breathe_ , his Uncle's voice says in his head. _You're in the sun, let it relax you. Draw strength from it, as Firebenders have for generations._ Shifting so he lays flat on his back, Zuko begins meditative breathing again, inhaling for the count of four seconds, exhaling for five. Uncle was right, the sun does feel good, washing over all of his exposed skin. He stays that way until he hears someone climb onto the roof.

Mai settles next to him, gently runs a hand through his hair. "I could've killed you before you even turned to notice me," she says, by way of greeting. 

Zuko cracks an eye at her. "Yeah, you could've," he agrees, then takes her hand, pulls her down for a kiss. 

She lies splayed out across his chest, lips at his pulse point, and they breathe together for a few minutes. "How'd it go?" Zuko finally mutters into her hair.

Mai sighs, crawling off of him and sitting upright. "I drew him in, he doesn't suspect a thing." She purses her lips, thinking. "I didn't want to go too fast, so I agreed to a date in a few days and left it at that."

Zuko rasps a laugh. "No one-night stand for you?" 

"Is that what you did with him?" She accuses him quickly, eyes narrowing. 

“I’m not a faggot, Mai,” he says quietly. It’s half a lie, but he figured this out in Ba Sing Se and he knows Mai can’t forget a lifetime of prejudice so easily. Spirits, he couldn’t.

Mai nods. Plucks an orange from her pocket, begins to peel it. Zuko takes a deep breath. "I didn't know we sold oranges."

"You don't," Mai snorts. "I took it from the fruit stand next door." Zuko pulls the name tag reading "Xui" from the pocket of his apron. He'd had to quickly jettison it once Sokka had called him Lee and his carefully created identity had been shot to hell. Zuko lets the pin of it stab him in the finger, lets a drop of blood well up. He's so fucked. 

"You really don't remember him?" Mai tries again, and Zuko shakes his head. He runs over his time in Ba Sing Se, but most of it had been dull, cramped days that bled together in their monotony. "Nothing," he says, and lets the needle prick him again.

Mai puts a hand over his, pulling the nametag away. Replaces it with half the orange and slides a careful hand under his chin, lifting his head so he looks her in the eyes. "Eat," she says softly, and he complies, putting an orange wedge into his mouth. "You're going to have to make contact with him again," she tells him seriously, starting in on her half as well. "If just to make him less suspicious."

"Can we even continue this mission?" he wonders aloud.

She thinks on this. "We have to try," she says eventually. Zuko hangs his head. "Hey," his girlfriend says softly, bringing up her hands to frame his face. Her hands smell like citrus, he can feel the stickiness of the juice on his cheeks. "Everything will work out. We'll trick those Federation idiots, bring home some good information for the Fire Nation Intelligence Agency. For your father."

For Azula, Zuko adds in his head. Out loud, he says "Guess I get to keep my thrilling job as a tea shop barista."

Mai smiles, elbows him in the ribs. "Relieving your glory days, huh?" The barb stings lightly, but Zuko lets it pass through him. "Practicing my most essential skills, more like." He leans in, she meets him there, and they kiss in the sun until some asshole customer rights the bell in the shop below.

Zuko rolls his eyes as Mai pulls off him with a small laugh. "If only they knew the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation was working a dead-end job in a tea shop!" she says gleefully. "Yeah, yeah," he mutters, dropping neatly into the window and re-entering the tea shop. "I'll meet you after my shift!" He calls up to her, and she raps neatly on the side of the building in reply.

Go work in a tea shop. Be normal. Don't stare at Sokka, or at least don't be obvious about it. Be normal.

Zuko finishes the last of the orange, wipes his hands on his apron. Be normal. Right. He heads back to the counter.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We get to see the girls, now!
> 
> Warnings: Slur again

Mai desperately, _desperately_ , does not want to go on this sham of a date with Sokka, the Federation Boy from the Southern Water Tribe. She views it as an absolute waste of time.

"We're just two people lying to each other," she tells Zuko, as she's getting ready in the apartment she's convinced Sokka is hers. "It's going to be one of the most boring evenings in my life. I'd literally rather do anything else."

"It's a crucial part of our mission," Zuko points out. "As long as you make sure the date goes well and he doesn't suspect anything, he'll break into this apartment to gain access to the fake FNIA base next door, and then we control all information the Federation gets on us. It's easily the most important priority of the FNIA right now."

"Who are you, Azula?" She bites at him. He barks out a laugh, but shoots her a betrayed look.

"It's also the most _boring_ part of the mission," she complains. "Of course the date is going to go well, he needs it to. I don't have to do any work, which means I don't have anything to do."

"You can use the opportunity to try to gain more intel about the Federation," Zuko suggests, voice amused. 

"Great idea. 'I know you told me you're a university student, but do you by any chance know anything about the Federation, an alliance of spy organizations from the Water Tribes and Earth Kingdoms, hell bent on destroying the Fire Nation?' That'll go over well." She fusses with her hair.

"It looks fine," Zuko says reassuringly, moving to take her hands. "Stop messing with it."

She slaps his hands away. "I'm doing it, I'm _doing_ it," she says crossly. She shakes out her braid, surveys it in the mirror. 

"Did you think our first dates were a waste of time?" Zuko asks, laughter running through his tone, because he already suspects the answer.

"Yes." Mai turns from the mirror, puts her hands on her hips. "We'd already known each other since we were kids. I had a crush on you bigger than the Earth Kingdom desert, and you'd," here she falters. "You'd decided to notice me."

"I was struck blind by your beauty," Zuko corrects, gathering her into his arms and giving her a sloppy kiss.

She extricates herself with difficulty. "You left the Fire Nation for a small _vacation_ ," she says the word delicately, and he shakes his head at her. "For a small vacation, and you were shocked that I had gone through puberty by the time you'd come back." She shrugs. "We'd already said everything we needed to say when I agreed to go out with you, the rest was just details." She turns back to the mirror, gets started on her makeup.

"Those details were fun, though," Zuko joins her in front of the vanity, rests his head on her shoulder.

Mai straightens her back, tries to hold her head regally, like her mother had taught her. "The details were fun, though," she agrees, before shaking him off so she can apply the kohl round her eyes with a steady hand.

Zuko watches her, silently. He's used to her makeup routine by now, has seen her do it a hundred times. "That's a nice color on you," he comments, as she colors her cheeks with some blush.

"I hate it." She snaps the blush closed, looks over herself in the mirror. Tries to make herself disappear underneath the makeup. Be invisible, she tells herself. An old lesson of her mother's. Be invisible, go unnoticed. Make yourself disappear, and then you can be anyone. Whoever you need to be.

"How do I look?"

"Nonthreatening," Zuko assures her. "Perfect." He goes quiet. "Do you think you can ask Sokka about me?"

Mai hesitates.

"About whatever happened between us that I can't remember?" Zuko prompts.

She squeezes her eyes shut so she doesn't have to look at him. "I don't think so," she says. Mai has already considered this, anticipating the question. "It would be strange of me to bring it up. I know you want to figure out what happened between you guys, but it would be too dangerous."

Her boyfriend looks utterly forlorn. "Yeah, okay," he says, then hugs her tightly as she heads for the door. "Good luck."

She leaves him in the apartment, making her way out to the street. Mai shouldn't bring Zuko up to the Water Tribe boy on their date. She shouldn't. It's dangerous, so she's not going to. She’s not going to. She nods decisively, telling herself on the way over that she won’t say anything, she'll put the mission over Zuko, and he'll have to get his answers elsewhere. And that’ll be that.

And then she meets Sokka at the _stupid_ noodle shop and they order and five minutes later she’s already so bored she wants to jump off a bridge. She knew this was going to be miserable.

Plus, She can’t get Zuko’s put out expression out of her head.

So she brings him up anyway.

"What happened between you and the guy at the tea shop? It seemed like you knew each other," she asks, as casually as she can manage. 

Sokka surveys her over his bowl of ramen, and she tries to look as innocent as possible. He’s just freaking out, she assures herself internally, trying to guess at his feelings. He’s just worried I’ll know he wasn’t Tun in Ba Sing Se, when he'd met Zuko for the first time, he’s just nervous about his cover, he probably doesn’t even realize how his gaze is running her through flat.

His eyes are ice blue, and so frozen right now she fears the cold will leech out into the air between them, making her breath frost. She shivers involuntarily.

"We hung out a bit in Ba Sing Se, when I was there on a research trip," he answers. She turns this answer over in her mind. He's telling the truth, or at least _a_ truth. "What sort of research?" she asks, batting her eyes, then consciously reminds herself to take a bite of her own food.

"Engineering," Sokka answers, spooning thick noodles into his mouth. "Mostly steam."

Mai nods. This is actually totally plausible, according to his file he's one of the most important technical inventors for the Federation. 

"That's really interesting," she lies. Mai doesn't give a shit about machines.

His eyes light up, melting in front of her. “Yeah?” he asks, then launches into an explanation of some steam engine. She studies him as he talks, waving his hands around erratically. He’s pretty, she finds herself thinking. His unadorned excitement charms her against her will. She sort of understands why Zuko would want to go for that.

If Zuko even really did go for that.

She chases her thoughts away from there, tries to refocus on Sokka as he blathers on. Don't think about that, she chants to herself, don't go there, don't go there don't don'tdon'tdon'tdon't

(She suspects that's what happened in Ba Sing Se. That something… physical happened between Sokka and her boyfriend. 

Which is bad enough on its own, but if she starts thinking about Zuko and men, it's all too easy to start thinking about herself and… and women. Which would be, not good.

Hard to be invisible if you don't want to sleep with the right people.)

But Mai's lucky. Mai's lucky. Zuko is enough for her, really. She knows there are men who _only_ like other men, women who are stuck with only women. Mai is flexible. Mai can hide.

Zuko is lucky, too. Or would be, if he just kept his hands to himself like he was supposed to. 

***

"I can't believe you took her to _our noodle shop_ ," Suki says hotly. It's late evening. She has just watched Sokka see Akane Ito off at her apartment, and then followed him on the rooftops of the city to Sozin square, where they're sitting by the fountain. Suki has been waiting to say this to him all night.

Sokka shrugs. "I was gonna have to eat on the mission, I might as well enjoy it!"

Suki smacks him in the arm. "Sokka, we go there _all the time_. We use our _real names_."

He waves her off annoyingly. "It'll be fine, no one will figure us out. Besides, she asked me for a noodle shop recommendation, and you know it's the best place in the district."

She longs to break something. Suki loves her boyfriend, but sometimes he's a complete idiot. "You don't need to give her an honest answer when she's a _mark_ and you're lying to her about literally everything else!"

"But she would've seen through me if I had told her to go to another place!" Sokka says earnestly. "You know I can't lie about food!"

Suki takes her face in her hands. "You're an idiot, that's what you are."

He rustles around in the bag at his side. "I got you your favorite," he holds it out in front of her like a peace offering, a pleading expression on his face. "C'mon, don't be mad."

She sighs, takes the container from him and tucks in. The heavenly smell of pan-fried noodles with sea slug does wonders to curtail her anger. "You're still an idiot," she mumbles through a mouthful. "How'd it go?"

"Good, I think." He pulls out a tea and takes a long sip from it. "I'm having dinner at her place later this week."

"Sokka, that's huge!" she splutters, and he grins modestly. "You did it! How soon can we start moving forward?"

"A couple of days after our next date, right? So we don't seem suspicious. She told me she works mornings in some dress shop, so the place will be empty then."

"Great job, Sokka," she says, just to see him smile again. "Seriously. I'll even write the report for headquarters."

"I hope so," he says mockingly. "Cause I'm doing all the grunt work."

"Hey, not so fast, I sat on a roof for an hour watching her laugh at your stupid jokes, I think that counts as grunt work." Suki stops for breath. "She's like, really pretty."

" _Right?!_ " Sokka jumps in immediately. "She seems like she's into me, but she's got this, like, _aloof_ air running under it. It's sexy."

Suki chews her food. "Damn. I love girls."

"Me too," Sokka shakes his head. "But you the _most_."

She rolls her eyes, blushes. "Obviously," she announces, to cover how smitten she is. "I'm the prettiest girl you've ever seen." But that Ito girl is something else. Suki knows what Sokka means; she seems delicate, but there's a feeling of something tightly coiled underneath, like there's something dangerous swimming around in there, and the only thing keeping it from breaking the surface is an old cage with a rusty lock. 

Suki shivers in the night.

"So," she says, rooting around in the container for a piece of fried cabbage. "You going to clue me in about the tea shop guy now?"

Sokka closes in on himself, shoots her a defensive look, and Suki sighs. "We're going to have to talk about this eventually," she says quietly, and Sokka looks away.

"Ito asked about him, too," he mutters, and anger flashes quickly in Suki's blood, but she's quick to control it. No sense getting mad at him when he's already on edge.

"Were you going to tell me?" she asks in a measured voice. Sokka doesn't look at her, and she throws up her hands. "Sokka, _come on_. If it's going to compromise the mission, you have to tell me!"

"I was going to!" he insists hotly. 

"No, you weren't," and now she's raised her voice without quite meaning to. "You were going to keep it to yourself so it could bite us in the ass later!"

She's surprisingly furious, but Sokka seems rattled, too. "So what if I wasn't going to tell you!" He shouts, "so what! Aren't I allowed to have secrets? Do I have to tell my girlfriend _everything?_ "

"If it's about work, then yes, I need to know!" she insists, getting angrier and pushing her point too far. "Sokka, are you an agent or what?"

"If this is what being your partner means, then I want out!" he sneers at her, and Suki turns away from him, so he won't see how much that hurt.

She stews quietly next to him, but his words were enough to cut through her anger. What just happened? Why did she get so upset?

Suki tries to take stock of herself, get a sense of her emotions. Maybe it's bothering her more than she'd thought, whatever happened between Lee and Sokka. Maybe she really does want him to tell her.

She sighs to herself. Suki knows that Sokka met Lee before they had gotten together. She hopes that Sokka would tell her if anything from his past started mattering in the present.

Does she trust him to tell her? 

She squinches her eyes shut. Decides she does. Of course she trusts Sokka, with her life, with her heart, with whatever secrets he has from his past. And he was right, of course he's allowed to have secrets. He doesn't have to tell her everything, even if she is his mission partner.

Suki takes a deep breath, knocks him on the shoulder and holds her noodles out to him. "Sorry," she says quietly. "Of course you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to." Of course I trust you.

He sighs, takes the container from her. "Thanks. Sorry I said I didn't want to be your partner, that wasn't true."

"Okay," she says. "Thank you." She surveys him as he puts a stupid amount of noodles into his mouth. 

"She asked about the guy from the tea shop, I told her I knew her from a trip to Ba Sing Se," he says unprompted. Suki nods. 

"Did you go back to the tea shop?" she can't help but ask. Maybe that isn't fair, but she… she wants to know if Sokka sought him out again. If whatever happened in the past is going to matter in the present. She holds her breath while she gives her a long look. "No," he says eventually, and she nods, relief spreading through her.

"Do you think her asking about him will ruin the mission?"

"I don't know," he answers honestly. 

Suki pulls a face. "It's sort of weird that she asked about it, right?"

Sokka rubs his chin. "Maybe? We were kind of loud… did anyone else in the shop notice?" 

"No," Suki recalls instantly. "No one did." Huh. "That's sort of a red flag."

"Yeah. I don't think we should do anything, yet," Sokka says. "But we'll keep it in mind."

"Okay," Suki agrees easily, content to follow his lead. She's breathing easier, but she notices Sokka's holding his breath. She doesn't ask about it, waits for him to say it himself.

She only has to wait a few seconds. "I haven't gone back to the tea shop, but I--I want to."

Discomfort snakes through her body, giving her a pinched face and raised hackles. "Not to--not to do anything," he assures her quickly. "I just… Lee was important to me, you know? I just want to… see if he's okay."

He looks at her pleadingly, and she has no idea what to do. She selfishly, _selfishly_ , wants to tell him she's not okay with it, that she doesn't want him anywhere near Tea Shop Guy. But he's always been so relaxed whenever she spends time with her ex from Kyoshi Island, it wouldn't be fair of her to try and control him like this. It probably wouldn't be fair anyway, she reasons.

And besides, she trusts him. She trusts him.

Suki exhales softly. "Yeah, okay. I don't have a problem with that."

Sokka grins like she's hung the moon. Her stomach twists. "You're the best," he says fondly, leaning in to kiss her, quick and dirty. She chases after his mouth for a moment, before pulling back and stealing her noodles from him.

He watches her with heavy eyes as she finishes her food. "Come on," she stands up from the fountain, pulls him to his feet. "The reports are calling."

He groans, slips his hand in hers. Kisses her softly again, before tugging her gently down the street. 

***

Sokka's hesitating again, in front of the tea shop. Inside, Zuko's slowly going insane.

The other man has done at least four walk-bys of the shop, once standing menacingly in front of the door for a whole three minutes before walking on again. Zuko had timed it.

If he's going to come in, he should just _come in_. Every time he stands in front of the shop Zuko gets at least three-quarters of the way toward hyperventilating, and then he moves on and Zuko has to do another meditation just to calm down. This stupid back and forth is frying his nerves. He wishes Sokka would just enter the shop and get it over with.

The bell over the door jingles. Zuko looks up, and immediately his breathing goes into overdrive. He's finally come in. Sokka's here.

Now Zuko has to try and meditate while Sokka's in the room, pretending to look for a seat while his eyes find the counter, then deliberately skirt away from Zuko. Zuko manages five in and out breaths before giving up altogether.

Don't fuck this up. Don't fuck this up. 

(Father had made it very clear that should he ruin this second chance, he won't be getting a third. Zuko has half a moment to wonder why he assigned Zuko potentially the most delicate mission in the whole fucking FNIA, and speculate that maybe he doesn't want Zuko to succeed, before Sokka is in front of him and he hurriedly swallows the thought down before he can choke on it.)

Sokka's at the counter. He has no idea what to say. Thankfully, Sokka has a working understanding of etiquette.

"Hey." 

"Uh, hi?" So far, so good. Zuko's hand goes to the back of his neck, scritching at it uncomfortably. Sokka's eyes follow his arm, distracted by the movement.

"Do you, uh… want some tea?"

Of course he doesn't want some tea, he rages in his head. He wants to talk to you so you'll trip up and admit this whole thing is a ruse and man oh man, why isn't Mai here?

Because it would tip them off if they were always seen together. He's on his own.

"Oh, uh, yeah," Sokka turns his head to the menu written on the wall. Zuko takes advantage of the few seconds he's not looking at him to take several deep, cleansing breaths.

"Can I have a cup of milk oolong, please?" Sokka says eventually.

Deep breath. "Sure." Zuko turns, takes a porcelain cup from under the counter and pours him a generous cup of tea. "That'll be three copper pieces."

Sokka nods, fishes out his coin purse. "Thanks," he says, as Zuko hands him the cup. The smile he gives is nearly blinding, coaxes out an answering smile out of Zuko.

Fuck, but he's hot.

(Did they hook up in Ba Sing Se? While he was with Uncle, Zuko had… seen a few guys. Started to come to terms with the idea that he might be some kind of faggot. Or queer, as Uncle kept telling him. Was Sokka one of those guys?)

Zuko carefully focuses on putting the money in the register drawer. Picks his head to see Sokka is still in front of the counter, dawdling. 

"Can I do something else for you?" he says bluntly, then winces because that probably sounded rude.

Sokka winces, too. Zuko is so bad at this. "No, I, uh, I guess this is it." He holds up his tea cup with another smile, turns to go find a table.

Zuko breathes a sigh of relief, only to inhale sharply as Sokka turns around again. "You, uh, you don't remember me, still, right?"

Zuko can only shake his head. It's probably the only truth he can admit to Sokka. "No."

Sokka nods. "Right," he says uncomfortably.

"Sorry," Zuko offers helplessly.

"Uh, thanks." Sokka fishes through his coin purse again. "Here," he drops a coin into the tip jar, manages another smile. Zuko tries to match it, but he's sure it comes out as a grimace.

Sokka goes to turn around again. "Wait." The word is out of Zuko's mouth before he'd given his mouth permission. Sokka turns around, face expectant.

"Did… we… I mean… " What happened between us, in Ba Sing Se? What can't I remember?

(Was I lucky enough to kiss you?)

Zuko's courage fails him. "Did we drink?"

Sokka's expression evens out. "Yeah," he says. "We drank a lot."

Mystery solved. "That's probably why I can't remember," Zuko says, nodding. 

"Yeah." Sokka loiters for a moment, before turning around again. Zuko immediately dives beneath the counter, tries to catch his breath. That had been close.

Although close to what, Zuko isn't sure.

He doesn't want to stand up and admit to the customers that he'd been hiding under the counter, so instead he army crawls into the storage room, and tries to meditate while lying face down on the floor.

All too soon, the stupid counter bell rings again, pulling Zuko from the coma he was desperately trying to reach.

It better not be fucking Sokka, Zuko thinks to himself as he gets to his feet and slinks back to the counter.

It’s Sokka.

He looks uncomfortable, which is great, because Zuko is _so_ uncomfortable he’s tempted to yell out “I am with the FNIA,” and then punch Sokka in the face, just to move things along.

(Not that he wants to mess up Sokka’s face, his brain adds helpfully. It _is_ really pretty.)

He flicks the thought away. “Do you want a refill?” he asks, nodding to the cup in Sokka’s hand.

Sokka’s clutching the cup to his chest. “No, I, uh.” He clears his throat. “This is probably, I don't know, going too far? But I just, I gotta get this, out, okay?" he squares his shoulders. "I gotta say this."

Great. He's gotta get something off his chest. Zuko has absolutely no idea what's going to happen next.

(For half a moment, Zuko wonders if Sokka's going to say something really stupid, something really crazy. Like, he's in love with Zuko level of crazy.)

(Is he going to say he's in love with him? Zuko will not be able to stave off a panic attack if this Water Tribe boy that Mai and he are supposed to be tricking and that Zuko is supposed to remember from Ba Sing Se but _can't_ confesses his love. This _sucks_ , Zuko wishes he'd stayed at home.)

"In Ba Sing Se," Zuko tries desperately to brace himself. "You mentioned your Dad--"

What? Father? Zuko feels his face twist into a confused grimace.

"You said he'd… well, hurt you," Sokka continues, eyes flicking to his scar.

Holy shit. Was Zuko stupid enough to mention Father to this, this nobody he'd gotten to know for five seconds? What the fuck did he say? Did he tell him who his father was? Does Sokka know everything about Zuko, the way Zuko knows everything about Sokka?

(This is what's happening in the foreground of Zuko's mind. In the background, there is a cloud of anxiety. In the background, there is a shrieking panic that repeatedly stabs him between the ribs, holding his breath hostage.

In the background, there is the anguished keening of the thirteen year old boy Zuko never really grew out of, crying in a sickbay and holding poultice-soaked cotton to his face, in place of his Father's flaming fist.)

On the outside, Zuko fights desperately for control. Somewhere, above the surface, he hears Sokka stuttering over his words.

"Hey, I'm sorry, I--I didn't mean to--"

Zuko forces himself to take a deep, strong breath. Shoves the scared little boy away from his mouth.

Take control. Deal with this. Take control.

"It's okay," he says, surprised at how even his voice is, although it isn't above a whisper. "What about my Father?"

Sokka looks at him strangely. Swallows. "I, uh… you mentioned that living with your Dad could be… dangerous."

(The little boy howls with fear. _He's going to hurt you again! He's going to call another Agni Kai! He's going to kill you!)_

Zuko almost laughs at Sokka's understatement. But that's okay, the Fire Nation Royal Family doesn't have a monopoly on abusive fathers.

(Is Ozai abusive? Uncle's warnings the night Zuko decided to return to the FNIA flood his mind, and Zuko beats them back. He can't question this now.)

Focus. He told Sokka living with his father could be dangerous. Okay, and? What does that have to do with Sokka standing in front of him right now?

"And?" Zuko says, taking a page out of Azula's book and raising an eyebrow. It's rude, and he puts on an expression of irritation, of being bothered. Sokka recoils, and the flash of guilt Zuko feels is immediate, but brushing him off is the right choice. 

It's better if Sokka doesn't talk to Zuko again.

Across the counter, Sokka seems to regain his composure. "Well, I wanted… I wanted to make sure you were okay," he admits in a rush.

Zuko can only stare at him. There's a dark flush across his cheekbones (it's beautiful, Zuko wants to run his finger across it) but he holds himself tall, and his eyes meet Zuko's.

Silence passes between them. "Are you?" Sokka ventures eventually.

Zuko has forgotten the question. "Am I what?"

"Okay?"

Ah. Sokka wants to know if Zuko is okay.

That's easy.

(Is it?)

He's back in his father's good graces, back on working for an Agency that's going to rule the world, back in line for the throne. Everything he's ever wanted is at his fingertips again, within reach after all those years in exile. So close he can touch it. Of course he's okay.

He's okay, he reminds himself. He is.

"I'm okay," he says to Sokka, then wills himself to believe it.

Sokka doesn't look convinced. (Zuko can hardly blame him.)

"Are you sure? Because if you're living with your Dad again…" Sokka trails off. Focuses his gaze on Zuko's scar. "I'm not sure it's okay."

That's presumptuous, Zuko thinks. Time to lie, which he's shit at, but he doesn't have another option.

"This was an accident," he says, pointing to his own ruined face. 

Sokka doesn't look convinced by this either. "Really," Zuko says for emphasis. This one is easy, it's a lie he's told before. 

(To Uncle, who smiled sadly at Zuko's insistence that his father would never. To himself, when the wound was fresh and he couldn't accept that Father would do it on purpose.)

"Okay." Sokka changes tactic. "If it was an accident, did he at least apologize?"

Zuko considers this. Realizes he has never considered this. To be fair, the thought of Ozai apologizing is laughable.

"He…" Zuko can't help himself from trailing off. "Yeah, he apologized."

Sokka clearly doesn't believe him, and for that Zuko has no one but himself to blame. "You don't have to stay there, you know," Sokka says suddenly. He reaches out, looks like he's going to try and grab one of Zuko's hands that are resting on the counter.

Zuko quickly moves his arms to his sides.

"You can leave," Sokka tries again.

This only serves to make Zuko angry. "Where would I go?" he snarls, and Sokka takes a step back, shocked by the change in Zuko's demeanor. "What, do you think I should move in with you?" he says meanly.

Sokka looks as though he's been hit. Zuko's words are cruel, or would be, if he didn't know that Sokka is lying. That he's here as a Federation Agent completing a mission. That the person, that the life he had apparently enchanted Zuko with in Ba Sing Se was as true as a spirit tale, just as is the story Zuko fed Sokka in turn.

There's no room in his life to offer Zuko anything. 

Of course Sokka doesn't know that Zuko knows that, a small voice in the back of Zuko's brain reminds him. Sokka thinks they met each other the way anyone might meet anyone, that Zuko is just a person with a future wide open in front of him. He doesn't know that Zuko, like Sokka, is already spoken for. 

The helplessness of the situation just makes Zuko angrier. Sokka can't offer him an escape, a way out. It isn't that simple.

"No," Sokka says. He looks around desperately. "No, I just meant--"

"You don't know me," Zuko insists harshly. "You don't know anything about me. Who are you to say something like that to a stranger?"

This, for some reason, gives Sokka resolve. "You're not a stranger," he says firmly. "You might not remember me but we aren't strangers. Look, man, I'm just working from what you told me. You said your Dad was bad news, and now you seem to be back with him, so I got nervous." Zuko opens his mouth to shout at him some more, but Sokka cuts across him. "Sorry if that offended you, but I don't want to apologize for… for caring." He pulls a small notebook and pencil from his pocket, rips out a page and scribbles on it. "I'm going to go, but I'll… I'll be in Republic City, for a bit. I'll be around," he says vaguely.

Ask him what he's doing in Republic City, Zuko thinks suddenly. Make him sweat. Ask him what he's doing here.

Sokka is looking at him expectantly. Zuko remains silent. The moment passes.

Sokka sighs. "Well, I'm around," he says again. "Look me up if… if you need me. I'm leaving now," he says, turning away. "Sorry I pissed you off. Have a good rest of your shift." With that, he exits the shop. 

Zuko grips the counter, fights desperately for control. Does a few breath rotations to calm down. Does not think about Sokka. Goes back to work. Makes tea. Sweeps the floor. Does not think about Father.

Clocks out. Goes home. Gets into bed.

Doesn't think about Sokka. Doesn't think about Father.

(Dreams about Father, instead. A familiar nightmare, to block out the warmth of Sokka's smile, the earnestness of his care.)

Zuko doesn't sleep well.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Third chapter is here! Part of this chapter is actually the first thing I wrote when I got the prompt, so I'm excited for you guys to see it!

Suki looks at the file in her hands with a frown. "Are they sure this information is good?" she asks for the second time, opening the file and flicking through the papers.

Sokka rolls his eyes. They're in the Water Tribe District, at the apartment they share whenever they're in Republic City. He's been seeing Akane Ito for three weeks, and the Federation has installed round-the-clock surveillance on the FNIA base they'd accessed through her apartment, as well as breaking in every other night to sweep the place for new additions to their files. The information has been incredibly useful, which makes the new message from Pakku so frustrating. "Suki, I told you. New intel from the Federation suggests that there's another FNIA base in the area. We have to check it out."

"But all our information from the Ito base has been really helpful," she argues. 

"Pakku says some of it has, but a lot of it has been junk." Sokka folds his arms over his chest. "Something feels weird about this, don't you think?" he asks. "I mean, wasn't it a little too easy to get into the Ito base?"

"No," Suki protests immediately, then backtracks. "Maybe," she allows. "Breaking in was kind of a joke."

"Exactly," Sokka nods assuredly. "I think Ito is involved."

Suki blows out a breath. "She asked how I knew Lee from the tea shop," he reminds her, even as his brain slinks away from bringing that up. "I really, really hope I'm wrong, though." It would be so much easier if she was clean.

"Let me suit up, and we'll find out," Suki says reasonably. 

Half an hour later, Sokka and Suki are breaking into a condemned building four blocks from the apartment. Sokka finishes picking the lock on a door on the roof, and then they quietly make their way inside, shutting the door behind them with a click.

"It's four floors," Suki breathes. "Split up and do two floors separately, or stay together?"

"Stay together," Sokka decides. The move into the hallway, round a corner. It looks empty, but Sokka's brain is buzzing. 

"I think you were right," he hears Suki admit. "I think there's something here."

The first two floors are a dead end, but the first room they turn into on the second floor has them both stopping in their tracks. "Shit," Sokka breathes. The walls are papered with maps of Republic City, of Ba Sing Se, of the whole world. There are filing cabinets surrounding the room. Sokka picks one at random, jimmies the lock and rifles through the files. "Look," he says, holding one up. "Fire Nation insignia. They can't resist putting their names on everything."

"So you were right," Suki breathes. "This sucks."

"It's not all bad," Sokka says, trying to find the bright side. "We found an actual base, that's something, right? And now we know the Fire Nation is feeding us information. We can definitely do some damage there."

"I'm sure you and Pakku will think of something," Suki says fondly. "You're right, it's not a total loss. What can you take from here?"

"I only have a small notebook," Sokka says, pulling it out along with a small pencil. "I'll fill in what I can, but we'll have to come back another time."

Suki nods. "I'll stand watch," she says, and Sokka turns back to the filing cabinet, trying to decipher which projects are the most important. He doesn't get very far, although he leaves a few hours later with a notebook full of goodies. They drop it off at headquarters, and spend the next week staking out the building, trying to get a sense of when the building will be empty. It's a highly used facility, they were lucky to have made it in the first time without getting caught.

They make their second break in six days after the first. It's nearly full daylight, which makes Sokka nervous, but this the only time where the building is empty. Or at least, usually empty. Which makes Sokka even more nervous.

The blinding sunlight makes him want to get in and out quickly, so he tells Suki to split up, having them take separate rooms as they copy files and learn what they can.

He's halfway through transcribing a file on an unnamed project when Suki runs silently into the room. "FNIA personnel," she hisses, and he can hear people walking through the building behind her. 

Suki pulls him into a closet, quietly shuts the door behind her, just somebody enters the room. The sounds of shuffling feet mingle dangerously with Sokka and Suki's thunderous breaths as they try to quiet themselves.

"I don't think they're any closer to figuring us out," someone says from outside the closet in a quiet, nonchalant voice. Sokka has to resist the urge to thunk his head against the thin wood of the storage closet, because that's definitely Akane Ito. Fuck. Everything they learned from their raid on the supposed FNIA headquarters is null and void. The Fire Nation was one step ahead. He was right.

To make himself feel better, to take some of the sting of failure away, he mouths "told you," at Suki, and she sends him a withering look that only slightly covers the frustration he can see in her eyes. He tries to give her a small, comforting smile, and then turns an ear toward the door, waits for the other person to start talking. Maybe Sokka and Suki can identify them as well.

"So what's our next move?"

The bottom of Sokka's stomach drops out of him. That's definitely Lee. The voice is too raspy to belong to anyone else. Sokka would know it anywhere, has such a strong vision of the way it sounds pressed up against his ear that he has to shake himself. Suki looks at him, scandalized. "Lee? Tea shop hookup?" she mouths at him. Sokka can only nod shakily.

Suki inhales sharply. "Tea shop," she mouths urgently, and Sokka closes his eyes in a grimace. Right. Lee was there when he made first contact with Ito. She had asked about him on their date. They must have been working together the whole time. Fucking hell, the FNIA played them like a musical instrument. He feels sick at knowing they were just pawns in the hands of Ozai, sees a reflection of his stomach on Suki's face.

"Azula sent us this file on misinformation," Ito says, and Suki's nails dig painfully into Sokka's arm. Azula, the Fire Nation princess? Lee and Ito are working with Azula?

Sokka's body seizes up, goes abruptly stiff and cold. Lee and Ito are working with the Fire Nation Princess, Azula. Princess Azula has an older brother. Prince Zuko. An older brother who suffered a horrible burn in an Agni Kai with his father, and was exiled from the Fire Nation after.

He lets out a slow exhale, wants to smack his past self in the face. Of course he'd manage to drunkenly make out with the banished Prince of the fucking Fire Nation on his working vacation.

Suki taps him in the shoulder, and he manages to crack open an eye. She gives him a searching look. "Prince Zuko," he manages to whisper, and stabs a finger in the direction of the door. Her eyes go wide.

Just as the two of them piece it all together, they hear Lee _(Zuko??? Prince Zuko??)_ draw in a sharp breath. "Hold on, Mai," he says quietly.

"Mai?" Sokka mouths, and Suki shakes her head, no idea. 

"Company?" the woman who is _not_ Akane Ito, says evenly. Sokka peers through the slats of the wooden door, sees she's drawn a dagger from her sleeve. 

Zuko nods, walks around the perimeter of the room. Stops in front of the closet Sokka and Suki are hiding in. He can feel Suki take a fighting stance. "Get ready," she mouths in the dim light from the slatted door. It's about to go down.

Sokka nods. Zuko stays in front of them, absolutely still. Sokka's entire body is tense, ready to move, and he can feel Suki spring-loaded in front of him.

He braces himself. Waits for Suki to make the first move.

Just when the waiting becomes unbearable, Zuko makes a quick motion with his hand toward the door. Suki kicks it open, the force of it sending Zuko reeling back. Suki jumps out of the closet, fists up, and Sokka follows her, head spinning.

For a moment, the four of them just look at each other. Sokka can't believe what's happening. "You're working for the FNIA?" he asks incredulously. 

“Sorry to disappoint,” the woman who is apparently Mai says with a small smile, before chucking a knife in his face. Hot, Sokka has time to think, before Suki shoves him out of the way and bats the knife out of the air with one of her fans. “Sokka, come on!” She grabs his hand and pulls him away, nearly tripping him in her haste to get out of there. Sokka rights himself and takes off after her. 

“I can’t believe it!” he pants as they race through the hallways of the building. "I can't believe they were in on it together!"

"I can't believe you didn't realize Tea Shop Hookup was the Fire Nation Crown Prince!" Suki shoots at him. “Fuck!” she swears, as Zuko appears at the end of the hallway. They double back, and Sokka leads them down a dead end. “Sokka, you’re sure we can get out this way?”

“Yes! Follow me!”

“Just like you were sure about _Lee?_ ”

“As if this is just my fault," he finds time to say. "And yes, the room on the left has a window!” he bellows over his shoulder, skidding to a stop in front of the door and throwing it open. “I stashed a grappling hook in here while you were being sneaky sneaky in the other rooms; now let’s go!” She shuts the door as he grabs the hook and shoves the window open. “And for the record, my instincts told me Lee was clean!”

“Well cute boys fuck your instincts to hell, don’t they?” Suki spits back. “Speaking of-"

Zuko bursts through the door just as Sokka throws the grappling hook, Mai right behind him. Sokka hears the hook catch on the roof opposite, grabs Suki round the middle, and swings them both out the window. “See you later, pretty boy!” He sings triumphantly, before angling himself between Suki and the building hurtling toward them as she gets a grip on the rope.

“Ouch!” He hisses as his back crashes into brick. 

“That was almost very dashing,” Suki says, kicking out the glass in the nearest window. "I think I broke something," he gripes. Suki pulls herself up above him on the rope and starts swinging. "Help me out here and I'll give you a kiss," she promises, and he obliges her, swinging his weight back and forth. After a few swings she makes her move, leaping from the rope and flying gracefully through the window, landing in a rolling crouch inside. Sokka's always a little starstruck whenever she does something like that.

Her head pops up. " _Very_ sexy," Sokka says, but her face looks stricken. " _Sokka!_ " she screams, and Sokka looks up, sees the incoming blast of fire from Zuko's fist through the window and ducks his head, huddling into his jacket and letting the fire glance off his back. "Fire proof jacket _and_ rope!" he says gleefully, then hears Mai chuckle, and then a dangerous whistle.

Followed by a _schnick!_

Followed by freefall.

"But not knife proof!" Mai says from above him.

Freefall, again.

Fre-- _ouch!_

Something clamps around his ankle and he slams into the wall again, face-first this time. "Gotcha," Suki pants from above him.

"I think you broke my nose!" Sokka hisses through a mouthful of blood that manages to rain both up _and_ down his face, pouring into his eyes. He can feel Suki brace herself and haul him ass up through the window. "Better your face against brick than your ass against pavement," she advises crossly. She never likes it when this shit happens to him.

As his neck crosses the windowsill, Sokka sees another knife embed itself into the wall where his head had been. Once all of him is inside, he grabs hold of Suki and spins them so he's got her pressed against the wall, open window beside them. He kisses her, and a blast of flame roars into the room. When he pulls back, her cheeks are pink. "Thanks for the save."

She rolls her eyes, grins at him. "Anytime. Now let's go."

***

"Why did you react like that when I cut the rope?"

Zuko doesn't know how to answer Mai. "I… why don't we try and head them off?" he winces at his clumsy deflection, but Mai's one of the few people who won't make him feel bad for it. "We don't have eyes on that building, it'll take too long to comb it and it has too many exits." She sniffs, checks her watch. "Besides, Azula will be here in five minutes." She eyes him carefully, and he hears her subtle warning. Get yourself together. Azula's coming.

Five minutes. Zuko nods, turns away from her. He decides to use his time. Why did he react that way, crying out when Mai's knife sliced through the rope keeping Sokka aloft? What does he care if Sokka dies? He shouldn't care, he's just some… some dumb pretty boy, too stupid to know what side to fight on. So what if he seemed nice, hadn't Azula and Mai taught him that anybody could seem like anybody, that anyone could say anything? He needed to quit being stupid, he was going to get himself into trouble.

(Anybody could talk like anybody, but Sokka could talk like… like Zuko's mother, before she'd defected to god knows where. Like his Uncle, before Zuko left him in prison to rot.)

(Like Mai, when she forgets to be Azula's puppet.)

(Like Azula, when she forgets to be Ozai's daughter.)

Zuko swallows. "Mai, did you really want to--"

She cuts him off with a hard look. She's always known him better than he knows himself, but he can see the look of betrayal in her eyes. Trust her to pick up on what he barely can see in himself.

"This isn't about you!" part of him screams, but he can't say that to his girlfriend. To his partner.

"Mai," he says quietly instead, and when she says " _don't_ ," in a harsh voice, it nearly breaks his heart. Ignoring her, he takes her hand. "You know how important you are to me," he says pleadingly. She softens, glances at her watch again. "Time's up," she murmurs, then leans up to give him a kiss. 

Their lips are still connected when someone steps into the room, and then Zuko can hear Azula sigh loudly. "I'm not here to watch you two break workplace regulations," she says haughtily, and Zuko catches Mai, back facing Azula from her position in Zuko's arms, roll her eyes. "How do you even know what those are, you've never been in a workplace?" Zuko snaps at her. Mai moves to stand by his side.

"HR would disagree with you there," Azula says. "But I heard about them when I was spying on you during your betrayal period," his sister adds dismissively. 

"I thought you were in Omashu while I was with Uncle," Zuko says, deceptively cool even as he feels himself tense. His hackles are always up when his sister mentions his time in Ba Sing Se.

"I was, but then I moved as soon as Father figured out your position," she grins evil at him, all teeth, always enjoying reminding him of his tenuous relationship with his father, the control he and Azula have over his life. Zuko contents himself with narrowing his eyes, clenching his hands into fists. The anger is more for show, he realizes more and more. His rage, once his forever bedmate, has subsided, leaving only confused feelings in its place. 

"I arrived in the city right after the Ancestral Festival," she adds.

Zuko's heart jolts in his chest. 

The Ancestral Festival.

He remembers Sokka from the Ancestral Festival.

 _That's_ when they met, Zuko realizes suddenly. He had hung around Uncle's tea shop one day in the summer. They attended the Ancestral Festival together. And after--

Zuko fights to keep his face from flushing. Spirits. Sokka knows him, like, _really_ knows him. Fuck. Azula always told him his time with his Uncle would be a liability. 

Azula. Shit. 

Does she know that Sokka's recognized him? Where he's recognized him from? He and Mai had kept it from the mission report, but suddenly Zuko is sure she knows anyway. She must, that's why she brought it up. To throw it in his face. Trust his sister to be ahead of him here, too. 

Does she know what happened with Sokka? Has Zuko been caught out? 

Anxiety rears high in his throat before he comes to his senses. No, she'd had eyes on the shop, which his Uncle had suspected, but he'd been taught by Ozai, just like she had. He knows he and Sokka hadn't been followed. Hadn't been seen. Zuko's safe there, at least.

His mind shifts to his girlfriend standing beside him. Does Mai know? Does she care? It was before they were really together, but it'll change her opinion of him anyway. Zuko… isn't sure what she knows. 

"So." Azula moves her hair out of her face, crosses her arms over her chest. "What do you have for me?"

Another dilemma. Should they tell her the truth, that Sokka and Suki have figured them out? Can Zuko risk Ozai's ire a second time? Just as he's decided no, he can't, just as self-preservation kicks its way to the surface, Mai does him in. "We've been made," she says calmly. Zuko's fight or flight response punches a flinch throughout his entire body, but a slight hand fisting in the shirt at the small of his back stills it. Mai. Zuko relaxes instantly, trusting Mai implicitly, and she keeps her hand where it is as she talks Azula down. "They found us out, but we've managed to collect enough intelligence that the mission won't be a total failure. We've sent people following our two targets day and night, along with searching their apartment, and we've managed to pull a lot of intel on Federation activity. We're close to learning the location of the Federation base in Republic City. We've also managed to successfully distract the Federation long enough for Project Phoenix to be completed," Mai recites carefully. 

Zuko exhales. Mai's right, it isn't a total loss. They've collected good information for his father, he's kept himself out of Ozai's blast zone. Mai's kept him out of Ozai's blast zone. He wants to thank her for that and taking the burden of explaining off of him, so he opens his mouth. "Thanks to the work Mai put in, won't lose too many leads. She was careful, there's no way they'll realize how much intel we've been able to gather. They won't know it's connected to us, and even if they suspect, Mai made sure to triangulate from a couple of different sources. They won't be able to catch all of it. Another team should have no problem."

Next to him, Mai says nothing, only inclines her head. Behind him, the hand on his back snakes down to cup his ass and squeeze before flitting away again. Zuko fights the smile from his face.

In front of him, Azula says "Trust Zuzu not to pull his own weight." The hand at his back tenses. Zuko remains still, quelling the anger in his chest, only allowing himself a small "pleasure working with you, Azula, as always." Her chin comes up and her nostrils flare, she doesn't like being dismissed, but the meeting's over. "There have been unexpected delays with Project Phoenix, unfortunately you were unable to fulfill the mission requirement of distracting our opponents for the entirety of the construction timeline," she informs them. "However, your work is passable. I'll expect a full report by this evening, then, so we can transfer your leads to new teams." 

Zuko inclines his head. "Your wish is my command." When did the feeling of powerlessness become so suffocating?

This isn't enough to placate Azula; she stands at attention, brings her hand to her forehead in a salute. Zuko sighs, and he can feel Mai do the same. He tries not to grit his teeth. The stupid show of power is something he didn't miss when he fled the Fire Nation, and he has little patience for it now.

But he and Mai aren't the type to start a fight over something so trivial. At least, not anymore. They repeat the gesture.

Satisfied. Azula nods, swiftly about-faces and exits the room. Zuko hears Mai's quiet exhale, feels her body loosen. She listens for another moment, then nods, stepping into his space again. Zuko brings his arms up around her, lets her cradle her face into his shoulder. "Lying would have done more harm, in the long run," she murmurs into his shirt. She must have heard Azula leave the building. Zuko taps her twice between the shoulders, knuckles rapping on her back. "She won't go to Ozai unless she's certain she can't fix it quietly on her own," Mai continues. He feels her hold her breath. "In some ways she's as scared of him as you are," she whispers. 

Zuko's hold on her tightens. "I'm not scared of him," he says, voice too loud. They both know he's lying.

"We're okay, we have this under control," she answers, voice soothing. "Until we don't, and Azula goes to my father and heaps all the blame on my head," Zuko worries, fear growing in the pit of his stomach. He hates how weak he is, still afraid of his own father. The scar tissue tightens painfully.

"That won't happen, stop worrying," Mai instructs, calm and confident in the face of his anxiety. She kisses her palm, lays it over his scar. He leans into her hand, and she cradles his head for a few moments, before Mai pulls her hand back and flicks him gently on the nose. "Come on, let's get that report done." Zuko grounds loudly. "And then we'll have the evening to ourselves," she promises, raising an eyebrow. He takes her hand, laces her fingers together. Leads her out of the building. It's early evening, the sky is still light from the sun that's just disappeared from the horizon, the stars slowly coming out. A warm breeze snakes it's way through the city. Zuko puts an arm around Mai's shoulders. They take the long way back to Mai's apartment.

***

The next few days are not exactly kind to Zuko. He's always primed to expect the worst, and is always surprised by it when it hits, anyway. 

This isn't the _worst_ , he's been in far more awful situations before, but it is pretty bad. 

Once he and Mai report in about what they've managed with Sokka and Suki, it becomes clear that, despite Mai's hard work, most of the leads they were following are now essentially dead in the water. Headquarters splits them up and sends him on another mission. He _hates_ being apart from Mai, and knows Azula does it just to spite him, but even he can admit that it makes more sense for her to go solo on an intel gathering, undercover mission rather than have him tag along and risk mucking it all up.

Her going alone would have been fine, except they'd sent him to the ass-end of the Earth Kingdom with the useless mission of scoping out a potential site for a base deep in the unmapped forest. It's a stupid, unnecessary mission, and it's clear Azula knows that from the way she smirks when she gives him the file. Zuko spends half a day sulking on a ship, changes clothes and boats on the Fire Nation's outermost island, and makes it to the mainland, only to find out that Azula's information was not-quite perfect, and the boat had dropped him about thirty miles from the wooded area he's supposed to be surveying. Cursing Azula, he steals a cart and ostrich horse and manages half a day on the road, before jettisoning the cart and bushwhacking through the underbrush. He's forced to use his Dao to clear a path, and occupies himself with snide, snobbish mental tirades about how sword fighting is an _art_ , and his two expensive, brilliantly tempered Dao are _not_ the right equipment for this, Azula. He should have been given a fucking scythe, he thinks savagely, swatting a fly out of the air.

He only manages roughly four miles the first day, and resigns himself to a miserable two weeks of doing useless work. He fashions himself a lean to, pitches his tent under it, has a lonely meal and goes to sleep. It's almost a relief when he wakes up to find Sokka and Suki have invaded his tent, Sokka holding a long, black sword an inch from his throat.

***

"We are the luckiest people in the world," Suki breathes next to him. Privately, Sokka agrees with her. Her eyes have gone huge as she takes in the sleeping form of the Prince of the fucking Fire Nation beneath them.

"Is he really asleep?" Sokka mutters, staring at him dubiously. Sokka's an agent, sure, but stealth has never been his strong suit.

"I think so." Suki looks up at him, grinning. "Guess your tap dancing through the forest wasn't enough to wake him up."

"Shut up." His mind is a blank, he's totally unprepared to run into Zuko here, of all places. He'd thought that had been the end of it, after they'd realized Mai and Zuko were screwing them, and had quietly mourned the loss of the potential anything he'd had with Zuko, thinking he'd never see him again. "What is he doing here? He doesn't know about the Freedom Fighters, does he?"

"I doubt it," Suki whispers back. "Jet's always been good at covering his tracks."

Sokka can't help the sour look on his face. "Of course he is, he's good at _everything_ , isn't he?" 

Rolling her eyes, Suki says, "you need to get over your thing with him, he does good work."

"He hurts innocent people!" Sokka shoots at her. "You don't always get to pick your allies," Suki says diplomatically. "Besides, you just hate that everyone's in love with him."

"He's not _that_ good looking and smooth."

"He is." Suki shifts quietly, dispelling the air around them. "What are you doing?" Sokka hisses, as she takes out her fans.

She levels him with an unimpressed look. "I'm taking Crown Prince Zuko Captive. Come on, draw your sword. We can have him completely incapacitated."

Right. He's an enemy agent, of course they're going to take him captive. He tries to shake off the mental cobwebs, reaching for his sword where it's strapped to his back. The slight _schick_ sound as it scrapes against the scabbard makes Zuko stir, and Sokka fumbles, manages to get the sword in front of him and pointed in the right direction.

Zuko's eyes remain closed. One second passes. Two. Three.

A breath of fire flares up in their faces; Suki waves it away with her fans. Sokka lunges forward, places the blade of his weapon on Zuko's neck.

"Nice try," Suki says with a smile. Sokka doesn't say anything. He's too busy trying to figure out the expression on Zuko's face. Annoyance, sure, and resignation mixed with… relief, maybe?

Sokka shakes his head. He's got better things to think about than Zuko's face. "We're kidnapping you," he informs Zuko.

Zuko's expression shifts into something more stoic. "Thrilling," he deadpans.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favorite chapter so far! It's longer than the others, but I'm really proud of it, so I'm excited for you guys to see it!

Mai lets herself into her hotel room, carefully shuts and locks the door behind her. Leans back against it, presses both hands on the door behind the small of her back.

There's no one here, she tells herself. There's no one here. She takes a deep, generous breath in, holds it, and carefully lets it out. Repeats the action twice more. There's no one here. She relaxes her shoulders, shakes off the rigid, upright posture her mother had forced onto her at birth. There's no one here.

She has to check, first, though, and so she does a thorough search of the room. Nothing there. Nothing out of the ordinary. She's really alone.

Breathing a sigh of relief, she toes off her shoes and flops onto the large bed in the center of the room, pressing both palms over her eyes. The mission is _over_ , finally and she wants to shake it off herself, get rid of the tension that's burrowed it's way into her shoulders and back. She recalls the meditative breathing Zuko had taught her. Deep inhale, hold, and then slow exhale. Deep inhale, hold, and then slow exhale.

Deep inhale, hold, and then slow exhale.

Deep inhale, hold… she can feel her fingertips smudging her eye makeup, wishes she didn't care. Deep inhale, hold… it's no use. Mai sighs, heaves herself off the bed and moves into the bathroom. She runs the tap, wets a towel and brings it carefully to her face. There's no one here, she reminds herself again, before swiping the rag over her eyes. When she opens them again the makeup has gone everywhere, light pink eye tint mixing with the dark kohl and dripping down her cheeks. The mission was just information gathering in a city not too far from Ba Sing Se, required what Zuko called her "I'm pretty and delicate and not a threat and _definitely_ not keeping any knives under my clothes," makeup. Thinking of him now makes her smile, just a second, before she surveys herself in the mirror and sighs again.

Mai hates this makeup, hates any makeup that makes her stand out. No, hates any makeup that makes her look more feminine than she already does. And also hates any makeup that makes her stand out. That had been a lesson from her mother.

Michi's voice rises up, unbidden, in her head. _You're a woman, like me. A noblewoman, but a woman nonetheless. And we are utterly unremarkable, not very pretty, I'm afraid._ Mai can feel her mother taking her face in her hands. _You've inherited my plain looks, my girl. But pretty women stand out, which can be to their disadvantage. We can, we_ must _, be utterly invisible, do you understand? It is the job of the woman to be noticed for her beauty, or not noticed at all_.

This memory sits pride of place in Mai's mind, she revisits it time and time again. Especially after her mother had passed. _Yes, mother_ , her nine year old self had said. Yes, mother.

She picks up the rag again, works at getting the stuff out from under her eyes. _But you will see, there are good things about being unremarkable. There are advantages to being beautiful, and having all eyes upon you, all the time, and there advantages to being ordinary, going unseen_. In the here and now, Mai wipes the makeup off her face, but in her head she watches Michi prepare herself for one of her father's parties, carefully painting the thinnest line of kohl under her eyes. _Do you see how I do it? Just enough that anyone looking will know it's there, but not so much that it's obvious. And the lipstick? The same, just enough. Anyone looking at me will pass right over me, maybe think 'ah, she is the wife of Ukano. No more, no less.' And not give me a second thought. And that's what we want, no second thoughts._ In the memory, Mai was so young she could barely see over the counter of her mother's vanity, and after a moment Michi picks her up and sets her beside her on the bench. Her mother gives her a rare smile. _I betray myself_ , she says, and then pulls out a pair of jade earrings and begins to put them on. _A present from your father. Sentimentality will be the death of me_. She surveys herself in the mirror. _And how do I look?_

Mai's childhood self knows the answer. _Ordinary, Mama_.

 _Ordinary._ She ruffles Mai's hair. _Perfect_.

In the hotel bathroom, Mai has a go at the lipstick, scrubbing at her mouth to get the lurid pink off. The bulk of the makeup is gone, although the dark circles under her eyes make her look like a vengeful spirit. Mai washes her face carefully, smooths it dry with a towel. Unthinking, she reaches for the kohl again, to do the neutral makeup she does every time she leaves the apartment.

Catching herself, she closes her eyes. There's no one here. She forces a deep breath. There's no one here.

Eyes still closed, she walks from the bathroom, begins undressing. Undoes her belt, pulls off the ugly, formless red tunic, and the loose pants that go with it, leaving them crumpled on the floor. She doesn't want to look at the clothes she's worn undercover, wants them off, away from her. Breathes a sigh of relief when her body is free of them, her only remaining clothes the skin tight undershirt and leggings she wears under all her clothes, every day. And, of course, the weapons concealed in them.

 _You could have fit more knives in the belt_ , Michi says in her head. Yes, but I didn't want to risk someone seeing, Mai answers. Normal women don't carry weapons in their belts.

 _True enough_.

Mai sits on the bed, remembering the first time her mother dressed her for a party. _Do I have to wear all these layers?_ she'd asked, wrinkling her nose.

 _Yes_ , her mother had said simply. _Look_ , she'd held up her own wrist. _What do you see?_

 _A fancy-dress tunic_ , Mai had said, bored. Michi had pulled back the sleeve. _And this?_

 _A fancy-dress undershirt_. Mai had started pouting. _Don't look so unenthused. And this?_

Michi had pulled back the sleeve again, flipping her arm over. There, tied to her forearm, was a tiny blade. Mai had stared at it, enthralled. _We dress in layers. We may have to clothe ourselves in femininity, like it or not,_ she had readjusted her tunic, pulling the layers back down to her wrist. _But femininity on an unremarkable woman is full of potential, is a hiding place. Where is the last place anyone would look?_

Mai had stared at her mother, eyes shining with being trusted with this knowledge. _In the clothing of an unbeautiful woman_ , Michi had answered.

In the clothing of an unbeautiful woman. Mai fingers her undershirt, runs a hand over the blades strapped to her arms. Should she take it off?

There's no one here.

Mai is about to pull the shirt over her head when there's a knock at the door. Mai freezes.

The knock rings out again. "Miss?" someone calls through the door. "I have a telegram for you."

A telegram. It's probably headquarters, then. Mai sighs, throws the long-sleeved tunic back over herself. _Your makeup_ , Michi says gently in her head, and Mai looks to the bathroom, shakes her head. I don't have time.

She pulls the tunic into place, takes a deep breath, and opens the door, standing half behind it and only keeping her torso in view.

A bellhop stands in front of her. "A telegram for you, miss," he says, holding it out in front of him. She takes it, thanks him and shuts the door in his face. She's tired.

Alone again, Mai places the telegram on her bedside table. I'll read it in a minute, she thinks before her mother can ask.

She's alone again. She takes a deep breath, then pulls the shirt over her head in one swift movement, quickly unstrapping the blades and shurikens and daggers so they all fall to the floor in a heap. She does the same to her pants, unfixes the few stray weapons that lie against her skin, and then it's just her. Only her underclothes between her and the air of the hotel room, just how she likes it.

 _This is a security risk_ , Michi says in her head. Mai doesn't care. She unpins her hair from the tight bun it's snaked into at the crown of her head, lets it lie loose around her.

She lies on the bed. Finally. No makeup, no clothes, nothing to pretend with. No one to pretend to. Just her.

Her breathing evens out. Lazily, she runs through a series of stretches, more for the love of how her body feels than any athletic need.

Okay. She manages the meditative breathing Zuko'd talked about for a few minutes, then turns her attention to the telegram. Let's see what Azula wants.

It's in code, obviously. Mai takes a few minutes to decipher it, brow furrowed and back hunched over the telegram that sits in her cross-legged lap, but when she manages it her heart stops.

"No Zuko report. Unknown Location. Likely Captured. Remain in Location."

No Zuko report. Unknown Location. Likely Captured.

Likely Captured. Those Federation assholes had taken him.

Mai feels a moment of blinding, searing rage. She grabs a knife off the floor, hurls it into the bathroom mirror where it shatters. The shards clatter in the sink. Grabs another blade, slashes it through a pillow, sending a cloud of feathers floating through the room. Her skin is suddenly too small for her body, her body too small for her heart and organs and muscles and bones. She gets up, paces furiously in the small room.

Those _assholes_. It was Sokka and Kyoshi, she knows it in her bones. They took him from her. They _took_ him. She almost screams.

Snatching the telegram from the bed, she reads it again. "Remain in Location," that's for her. Zuko was taken and she can't even _do_ anything about it. For a moment she wishes lightning would strike Azula dead.

Frenetic energy pushes against Mai's skin from the inside out. She has to do _something_ , she can't just sit here. Remain in location, she can't leave. In the end, she ends up on the floor, doing reps of push ups just to get the movement out of her system.

The rhythmic motion helps her body calm down, but when the anger slips out cold fear comes in its place. What if they hurt him? They know who he is, what if they torture him for information? It's what the FNIA would do.

Fear for him grips her so suddenly that she collapses on the floor, stiff with anxiety. What if they kill him? What if she never sees him again? She shouldn't have let him go alone on that mission, should have insisted she go with him. He can be useless by himself.

How will she go on without him? It's only been a week and she already misses him so much it hurts, what if they never give him back to her?

These thoughts are paralyzing, and rather than think them, she forces herself to do more push ups, then sit ups, then the diamond push ups Ty Lee had taught her. She pushes her body till her joints creak from exhaustion, till she can barely move.

She falls asleep with the telegram clutched in her hand.

When she wakes up the next morning, she sees things more clearly. She can think straight.

Mai dresses carefully, does her makeup using one of the shards of the broken mirror, goes down to the front desk and asks that a bowl of rice porridge and a cup of coffee be brought to her room. Goes back to her room, sits herself on the bed. Reconsiders the situation.

They won't kill him. The Federation prides itself on being different, being _better_ than the FNIA by refusing to kill enemy agents. By refusing to do what is necessary, and often neater and more efficient, in Mai's opinion, but whatever. They won't kill him. At most, they'll probably throw him in prison, and Zuko can handle himself there. He isn't in mortal danger.

Mai breathes a little easier.

A knock at the door, her breakfast. She accepts the tray, places it on the desk. Has a sip of the coffee. Goes back into the bathroom, removes her makeup. Puts the coffee on the bedside table, holds the porridge in her hand. Resettles herself on the bed, lies the telegram on the blanket in front of her.

 _A lady should eat at the table,_ Michi says reproachfully.

I am alone. I need to focus. Go away.

And she goes. Mai is not haunted by her mother's ghost, only slightly bothered by it.

She starts from scratch again, methodical as she is, and reads the telegram again.

"No Zuko report. Location unknown. Likely captured. Remain in location."

No Zuko report. He didn't report in from the Earth Kingdom town of Heibao, like he was supposed to after he finished his mission. That means he either chose not to report, or never made it there. "Likely captured," Azula is rarely wrong. So he never made it there. They kidnapped him on the way.

Mai takes a deep breath. How did they find out his location? She reaches into her small suitcase, pulls out a map and spreads it out on the bed. She and Zuko had disappeared after Sokka and Suki had found them out, actually going so far as to flee the city and resurface in the Fire Nation, well behind the border so they could regroup. They'd made it to the Capital Island, before Zuko split off and island hopped until he'd made it to the Earth Kingdom. He'd sent her a telegram the night he'd hit the mainland, and then gone dark as he completed his mission in the unmapped forests of the Earth Kingdom. They must have kidnapped him there.

Mai closes her eyes. The FNIA usually waits two days without a report before cataloguing an agent as missing in action, and it would have taken another half a day at least for the message to reach Mai in Republic City from Azula's current position at the Caldera. That's almost three full days for Sokka and Suki to move Zuko. They could be anywhere in the Earth Kingdom by now.

You're catastrophizing, she thinks to herself. She takes a pen from her bag, draws a circle about three inches wide around the point where Zuko was likely captured. They can't move too fast. She needs to start there.

But where are they going? She puts her tongue between her teeth, searches the map again. Her eyes fall on a spot in the mountainous region north of the village. They'd picked up rumors that the Federation had a base there. If it's true, that's where they'll take him before they decide what to do with him.

That's where she needs to go.

Plan made, she folds up the map and stashes it in her suitcase. Her eyes fall on the telegram again, and she lets out a huff. "Remain in location," Azula had said. She can't even go after him.

Remain in location? Fine, she has paperwork to do.

***

"I'll take the first watch," Suki says decisively. She's used her special, Leader-of-the-Kyoshi Warriors tone that says she means business.

Not that Sokka ever listens. He glances at her, eyes skittish, before looking back to the bag he's unpacking, throwing their supplies haphazardly on the forest floor. "Are you sure? You're tired, today took a lot out of you, I can--"

She squares her shoulders and narrows her eyes, hands on her hips. It's been three days since they poached Zuko in the unmapped Earth Kingdom forest, and in that time Sokka has gotten more and more jittery around their guest. He drops whatever he's holding whenever Zuko opens his mouth, barely talks to Zuko, and when he does manage to get a few words out they're so stiff and awkward Suki half wonders if he's having some sort of panic attack. She's never seen him act like this. It would be funny, if it weren't getting in the way of their mission.

(Well, that isn't true. He acted like this right around the time he decided to ask her out, but she's trying hard not to think about that.)

Suki understands that their history, whatever it is, is important to Sokka. She also understands that he doesn't want to tell her what happened. At least, not yet. She knows he'll tell her later, when he's ready, and she could accept that, were she in civvies. As his girlfriend, this is only mildly annoying, but as his mission partner it's infuriating, unacceptable. He needs to leave the past in the past, and get his head in the game.

The look she's given him does it's job. "Or--you know what? You're right, you take the first shift, good idea." Sokka finishes talking and stands there awkwardly, eyes darting to the Crown Prince and then shifting away suddenly, staring determinedly at the stars above. Zuko, for his part, is hyperfocused on his manacles, but Suki catches his neck flush every time Sokka's gaze lands on him.

She rolls her eyes to herself. Some agents these two are. Could they be any more obvious?

"I need to piss," Zuko says suddenly. "You gonna let me have a hand?" He holds out his cuffed wrists, a sneer on his face.

"Nope," Suki says, popping the p. She from her squat where she's setting up the tent and wiping her hands together to get the grime off. "Cuffs stay on, pal, you know the drill. But maybe Sokka will give you a hand if you ask nicely."

She couldn't resist, and it's immediately worth it: both boys color instantly, Zuko turning a red cheek aside while Sokka glares at Suki, making a slicing motion over his throat. Suki shrugs, mostly managing to keep her laughter to herself. "I'll go alone, thanks," Zuko mutters, stomping off behind a tree. As soon as he's out of earshot, Sokka starts hissing at Suki.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" She raises an eyebrow at his tone, and he calms down for a moment, looking apologetic, before ratcheting back up again. "You can't, just, say that to us!" he says furiously.

"You're cute when you blush," Suki answers unapologetically, then lowers her voice. "You need to get your head in the here and now, okay?" she insists. "Whatever happened between you two in the past, it doesn't matter, it's dead in the water. Keep it off mission."

She's being harsh, but she knows it's for the best. It's unlikely to stick in Sokka's head, anyway, direct orders from her tend to roll off him like water off a feathered back.

Sokka opens his mouth to retort. "Nothing--happened! It was a, a, a civil--meeting! Between two respectable, citizens!"

"You don't have to tell me what happened, you know, that's not what I meant," Suki says, trying to calm him down and stop his acting like a ridiculous idiot. What Sokka decides to keep to himself about his past is his business, even though she wants to know and wants to make sure he's okay, she'll never begrudge him his privacy. Just like he'll never force her to tell her anything about her past she doesn't want to share. "You just need to get your head out of your ass."

"My head is right where it should be, thank you," Sokka says, sniffing like some member of an ancient nobility, and Suki sighs her special Sokka sigh.

"Look," she says, lowering her voice even more and sobering up. "The only way your past...whatever is relevant now is if you use it to get in his head, get him to trust you."

Sokka's already shaking his head. "No, I don't want to...no," he says quietly. "Okay," Suki says easily. She knew this is what he would say. That's always been more her style than Sokka's, even though she isn't as good at it as she'd like to be. As the Federation sometimes requires. "I can't do that to...he's already had enough of that," Sokka says to himself, and Sukki knows fuck-all what that means.

"Okay," she says again. "But if that's the case, you need to leave that shit at the door."

Sokka nods, still looking uneasy. Suki turns back to the tent.

"It does matter," Sokka says softly. She walks back over to him. "What?"

"It does matter," he repeats. "What happened between us. It's...it's not nothing."

Suki doesn't know what to say. She wants to help him, she hates that he's feeling cut up about this and she can't comfort him, but if he doesn't give her any details, there isn't all that much she can do. "Okay," she says, feeling like a chattering monkey.

She walks up and takes him into her arms. There isn't a lot she can do, but she can do this. "If it's important to you, it's important to me," she hears herself whisper.

Sokka relaxes after a few moments, breathing easier and holding onto her tightly. She squeezes once before dropping her arms, just as Zuko returns from behind the tree.

He scoffs at their embrace, quick as it was, but doesn’t say anything else. Again Sokka looks at him, averts his gaze when Zuko makes eye contact. Suki looks at him pointedly, until he sighs, putting his hands up in defeat.

“Alright, alright,” he says. “I’m going to bed.” He fake yawns, obviously exaggerates stretching his arms over his head. “I’m _beat_.”

Suki rolls her eyes. “Goodnight, Sokka.”

“‘Night Suki, Zuko.” Another round of blushing and averted eyes. Suki notices that Sokka doesn’t give her a goodnight kiss, but tries not dwell on it.

Zuko coughs. “Night,” he mumbles, and gives a stupid looking half wave. Suki snorts loudly, and Zuko throws her a dirty look behind Sokka’s back. He visibly exhales once Sokka disappears inside the tent.

“Well, that hurt to watch,” Suki says. After half a week of traveling with Zuko, she feels comfortable rubbing him a little. He sends a blast of fire at her from his mouth, but she can tell it won’t reach her, doesn’t have the bite. “Fuck off,” he mutters, leaning down to crouch in the dirt.

Suki starts the business of building a fire, leaning small twigs together to make a teepee and adding some dried grasses to the pile. “I can’t exactly ‘fuck off’ when my prisoner has some secret history with my boyfriend,” Suki snaps, harsher than she’d meant to. Her own vitriol pulls her up short. Maybe this is weighing on her more than she’d thought it was.

Zuko surveys her from his position on the ground. “Sokka didn’t tell you anything?” He says dubiously.

Suki shakes her head, pulling her spark rocks from her pack.

“Well, then I won’t either,” Zuko answers brattily, getting quickly to his feet. “Do I get a tent, tonight?”

“Your loyalty to my boyfriend is commendable,” Suki grouses. She’s frustrated, and the spark rocks keep jumping in her hands; she can’t get the damn thing lit. “And did you get a tent last night? No, you’ll sleep under the stars again.”

“Great,” Zuko says, sending a distrustful look at the ground, the woods surrounding them. When Suki fails to light the fire on her fifth attempt, he loses patience.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” he snarls, then sends another spurt of flame from his teeth, this one landing on Suki’s twigs and setting them merrily alight, crackling happily.

Suki leans back on her heels. “Thanks,” she says, surprised.

Zuko seems taken aback at her gratitude. “No problem,” he mumbles, reaching up to scritch at the back of his head.

Suki wants to thank him further, or in a way that won’t make him uncomfortable. She thinks back to his alarmed look into the dark trees surrounding them, “I can protect you, you know,” she says, unprompted. He gives her a quizzical look. “At night, I mean,” she clarifies. “You don’t have to worry about sleeping out here. I’ll keep you safe.”

He observes her silently for a moment. “I suppose that’s true,” he says quietly.

More silence between them as Suki adds a few bigger branches to the fire. She can hear Sokka’s loud snores from the tent.

“Are you hungry?” When Zuko gives a tentative nod, she rummages in her pack for two apples. “Here,” she walks over to Zuko, but when she tries to hand him the apple, he holds his hands away. “Wait—“

Suki persists, putting the apple into his hands. “Don’t you—ouch!”

She pulls back, hissing in pain. She’d accidentally touched Zuko’s manacles while handing him the apple, and the metal had burned her.

“Were you trying to escape by melting the cuffs?” Suki demands, sucking angrily on her burnt fingers.

“Yeah,” Zuko says, unapologetically, and in retrospect Suki would have tried the same in his position. The betrayal still hurts more than it should, so she sticks her nose in the air. “Well, they’re melt-proof. Sokka’s one step ahead of you.”

“Sokka invented these?” Zuko asks, examining the manacles with admiration. “I knew he was an engineer, but that’s… impressive.”

Suki nods slowly. She doesn’t know what she feels, except that she’s proud of Sokka, too. “Yeah, they have a higher boiling point than your fire can reach, or something like that.”

Zuko remains quiet. "He makes good tech for you guys. For someone from the Water Tribe," he tacks on, to cover himself, but Suki can hear the admiration leaking from his tone.

Not that it's enough to negate his outright racism. "He makes good tech period," she says with force. And strangely enough, Zuko doesn't put up a fight. "He makes good tech period," he intones quietly, and his acceptance has her putting her guard up, giving him strange looks.

He meets her eyes resolutely, until she has to look away. They remain in silence for a few more minutes, before he coughs awkwardly. "So how...how did you and Sokka meet?"

Suki whips her head up at that, scrutinizing him. Is he mining her for information? Trying to make an escape plan? What's his game?

But Zuko...well, he doesn't look like an enemy agent trying to make a play to evade capture. He looks, well, he looks like a teenage boy with a crush.

The image of him in Suki's mind takes shape, rises up from the dossier she and Sokka had compiled on him after they'd gotten screwed. He fills out, becomes a person with a past, as Suki imagines tiny, baby-gay Prince Zuko. Can you let puberty hit you hard, punch you in the gut when you're the Crown Prince? Do you get the chance to be an awkward, gangly, love-struck teen when you're next in line for the throne? Are you allowed to have stupid, imagined boy crushes?

No, she realizes with a jolt. No, you can't have boy crushes. Not if you're a boy. Not if you're in the Fire Nation.

A familiar cloud of desperate loneliness seeps through her brain as she reimagines Zuko as a queer person in hiding. She's heard this story so many times before, it isn't hard to puzzle piece Zuko into it. If she looks hard enough she can see the weight of it there now, the suppressed childhood self you carry with you. A mode of invisibility, achieved or not, that never goes away.

Abruptly Suki is grateful for her life on Kyoshi Island. As hard as it was, as awful as it was to lose her parents at such a young age, she never had to hide herself there. She could always be that part of herself unapologetically.

Suki looks at Zuko with new eyes, gathers this new personal history around him like a cloak. He isn't asking about Sokka because he's planning something, he just has a crush on him.

She takes a deep breath. Someone has a crush on her boyfriend. Specifically, someone who may or may not have had some… experience with him in the past.

Suki wrinkles her nose. Someone who might have hooked up with him, she says in her mind with force. She isn't in the business of being dishonest with herself.

Someone who might have hooked up with him has a crush on Sokka in the here and now. Someone who's still interested.

The thought floors her, and for a moment she's reeling, unsure of what to do.

Well, doesn't everybody have a crush on Sokka? she argues with herself. It seems like everyone they come into contact with, girl or guy or in between, leaves Sokka feeling a little breathless. He just has that effect on people. She can't help but smile to herself now. Toph, that Ty Lee girl who used to run with the FNIA, even Aang. Sokka just enchants everyone who meets him, his smile ensnares them like fish. How can she fault Zuko for being blinded by the same force that trapped her?

And doesn't she trust Sokka? He'll fill her in, she reminds herself, he'll tell her what's going on, because he can see that it's bothering her and he's considerate like that. She'll just tell him she can see that whatever went on between him and Zuko isn't exactly dead and dormant, and she just wants to know where he stands. She and Sokka are partners, they're in a good place and they try to take each other's feelings into account. They'll figure this out.

So what's the harm in giving Zuko a bit more information? Well, there might be some harm to the Federation, but she's smart. She's careful. She can do this without putting herself and her mission in danger.

She wants to tell him, she realizes, because she wants to let him live out his gay crush. She doesn't know his life, doesn't know the sum total of his experiences, but she can guess. And the queer part of her recognizes the like parts of him and wants to reach out and connect, insists that they are the same. The queer part of her sees and knows the queer part of him, and wants to give him this.

So she shoulders her distrust and says "We met a few years ago, before I was officially in the Federation. He came to my home island as part of a stopover on a mission, and a few months after he left I joined up myself."

Zuko nods slowly. "Kyoshi Island, right?"

"Yeah, that's the one." Suki pauses. "He was kind of an asshole when I first met him, actually."

He raises an eyebrow. "What, really?"

"Yeah," she chuckles. This might be unfair to Sokka, but what the hell. Zuko asked. "He got upset when I kicked his ass in training, but then came around and actually learned a bit of our technique."

Zuko bites on his lip. "I've seen you fight, you're a Kyoshi Warrior. I wouldn't be embarrassed to lose to you," he says begrudgingly.

"Oh." That's… not what Suki had been expecting, and she curses her cheeks for flushing like a schoolgirl's. "Um, thank you."

"Not a compliment, just a fact," Zuko says quickly, and Suki rolls her eyes. "Fine, no thank you."

They sit in silence, Suki poking the fire to make sure it keeps blazing. "Do you miss it?" Zuko asks suddenly.

"Do I miss what?"

"Kyoshi Island." Ah. Every day.

"Yes," she whispers suddenly, letting the night steal her admission away. "I know the work for the Federation is important," I know the work of stopping your father is important, she adds in her head, and is sure the thought lies between them, "and getting to travel is cool, but I… I miss my home. My people."

Zuko nods, but Suki finds she isn't finished. "I'm sort of… the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors. I miss them." She checks herself, tries to be polite. "Do you miss home?"

"No," he says shortly. Right. An awkward pause that she desperately tries to fill. Surprisingly enough, it's Zuko that puts them out of their misery. "What do you miss from Kyoshi Island?"

Memories well up in her chest, roll across her tongue. She doesn't really talk about this with Sokka, she knows he misses his home in the Southern Water Tribe just like she misses hers, and doesn't want to bring up the concept of hearth and family where she can avoid it. But…

"The food," she says instantly. "Best parts of the Water Tribe and the Earth Kingdom, at least according to my Dad. Steamed buns and salty seaweed." Her mouth waters just thinking about it.

She swears she sees Zuko flash a smile. "Is your family still there, then?"

"I have an aunt that's still there," she hedges. The full truth will inflame her, stick pins behind her eyes and make fat tears she doesn't want to cry leak out. Will make her hate the man in front of her, which is justified but won't help their situation.

 _There you go again, denying yourself_ , a very teenage-sounding voice. _When are you going to let yourself get mad?_

Everyone's mad, she mumbles in her head. Everyone is fucking furious. What good will dwelling on it do?

 _But it's his fault_ , the voice hisses. _He took them from you!_

Suki wants to stuff her fingers in her ears, wants to roll into a ball, wants to scream. She realizes she's missed something Zuko said. "What was that?"

Zuko clears his throat, looking uncomfortable. "I said, there's nobody else?"

"What do you care?" she shoots back, before she can stop herself.

"I _don't_ ," he retorts swiftly, eyes blazing. "I'm just trying to be _nice!_ "

Suki fixes a blank look on her face, watches the fire in Zuko's eyes dim, getting smaller and smaller, until he actually hangs his head. "Sorry."

Suki nods, swallows over the lump in her throat. She's barely in control herself.

"Is there--"

" _They're gone!_ " she spits at him. The little girl she was when she lost them bursts out of her. Her chest heaves, her eyes run, and she feels herself shrink into a twelve year old abruptly left all alone. "My parents, my sister who was the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors, _they're gone!_ They fought for our Island when _your father_ suited up the Southern Water Tribe and sent them knocking on our door, when he decided to spark a fight between two cultures who were already dirt poor and reeling after the war and the payments they had to make in the peace agreements! I lost my family in the only battle for fifty years, because _Fire Lord Ozai_ was feeling powerful and wanted to show off!"

Suki snaps her mouth shut, closing her teeth over anything else that might escape. She stands up, walks a few paces away from him. Tries to do some of the meditative breathing she taught the younger Warriors. Listens for Sokka's breathing. Tries to use it to ground herself. She doesn't want him to see that she'd broken, that she couldn't control herself.

She hears fire crackle behind her and whirls around, fan open in one hand and arms up in a defensive stance. Zuko rocks back on his heels from where he's crouched over the fire, hands up in a defensive gesture. "Sorry, the fire went out," he stumbles over his words in his rush to get them out of his mouth.

Suki surveys the fire, drops her hands. She can feel tear tracks on her face, but she doesn't want to draw attention to them by wiping them away.

"I'm sorry, about…" he trails off. "We were wrong, to have done that. I know that doesn't take it away, but." Zuko hangs his head again. "I'm sorry."

Suki stares at him. He isn't just saying this, or at least, she thinks he isn't. He's proven himself to be a terrible liar. Something in her chest is telling her he means what he says.

What does it mean when the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation proves himself to be capable of some critical thinking, not just another warmongering zealot? When he apologizes? Suki has fuckall idea, so she files it away for later. A queer Fire Nation Prince who apologizes. This makes things… complicated.

In there here and now, she catches his eye. "Okay," she says, then turns around and opens her other fan, begins moving through a meditative warmup and then a few real fighting forms. She needs to work something out of her system, clear her head.

The slow warmup forms do their job, and by the time she moves into the real work she feels much calmer, more centered. She focuses on what she's doing for the joy of doing it. Suki loves being a Kyoshi Warrior, finds endless beauty in their powerful, unique fighting style. She puts real force behind her movements, even though her fists and feet only meet air. She breathes deep, feels more in control.

And she feels Zuko's eyes on her. It's a quiet thing, the knowledge of his stare, but it grows as her anger subsides, taking its place in her head. The forms are routine enough that she has some leftover space to think about it, to chew on his attention, and she realizes she doesn't feel threatened by it. Doesn't see Zuko as a real threat, at least for this moment. But what does _he_ see?

She knows what he sees. A powerful warrior, a dangerous opponent. Suki knows who she is.

But what does he _think?_ It's this question that burrows in her mind, sets something alight in her belly. There's something about the… the performance of it that's putting her on edge in the best way. She puts even more power behind her movements, wanting to seem strong and supple, and then criticizes herself for wanting to seem so, and then tries to cut herself some slack. Thinking about it makes her confused, makes her slow and still her movements. Instead she lets herself bask in his gaze. Who doesn't like attention? Who doesn't like being admired? It's not like she has to do anything about it. And Suki can smell his admiration from here.

When she finally finishes her exercises, she looks over at him and realizes he's laying with his back in the dirt, eyes on the stars. She tries not to be too disappointed.

"You're pretty comfortable there for someone who's Fire Nation Royalty," Suki says instead, walking back over to him. And when she gets close enough to see his face she realizes his eyes may be on the stars, but his cheeks are flushed. Satisfaction licks at her insides.

It's his turn to roll his eyes. "I haven't been pampered in the palace my whole life, you know," he says, but his tone is so much that of an arrogant prince it almost doesn't matter.

"Really." Her tone is all skeptic disbelief.

"I lived in a crapbox apartment in Ba Sing Se for two years," he shoots back at her, then realizes what he's referred to and closes in on himself.

"When you met Sokka, right?" she says, even though it's obvious.

He nods. She, in a moment of profound inner strength that she's definitely going to tell Sokka about, respects his stupid loyalty to her boyfriend and steers the conversation elsewhere.

"Why did you go there?" she asks him.

"My Uncle wanted to go there," he says in a soft voice.

Suki wrinkles her brow in confusion. "I didn't know your father had a brother," she says in a confused voice.

Zuko purses his lips, and Suki realizes he doesn't want to tell her. But she wants to _know_ , and so, without even thinking about it, she puts on her Sokka Voice, tries to mimic his way of talking.

"Come on, after all that?" she gestures behind her. "You can tell me."

And it works, because Sokka connects with people. He always has. But she can do it, too. All she has to do is think like her dumb boyfriend.

"He defected," Zuko whispers softly. "Used to work for the FNIA, like everyone else in the Royal Family, but he didn't like it, so he left." He shakes his head. "Not that it ended up doing him a lot of good."

Suki cannot, entirely, turn the mission part of her brain off, and so the coldest, most calculating part of her quietly affirms that everyone already knew the FNIA was an offshoot of the throne, he hasn't betrayed himself.

She tries to put the softer side of her heart into her mouth. "And you wanted to try that on for size?"

Again, an evasive expression, a withholding curve of the lip. "Yeah," he says finally. "Well, I didn't really have a choice. I was sent away, after--" he waves a hand in front of his face.

Suki nods. "A bad accident can mess anyone up," she says generously, and finds herself faced with a weird look. Like she's missing something. But Zuko keeps silent, and Suki feels generous enough to let him keep this secret to himself. Whatever he's skirting around feels big.

"Makes sense that people don't know about your Uncle, though," she says after a moment, trying to bring him back to safer ground.

He nods, but he still looks uncomfortable. He isn't telling her everything, and she finds she wants to lead him away from this apparently sensitive subject.

"Your Dad's still an asshole," she says, trying to steer herself back to what she knows.

To her surprise, Zuko laughs bitterly. He closes his eyes, brings his hand up to touch his scar softly. "Believe me, I know."

Suki's stomach drops. She's never been great at reading people, but Zuko is an open book, and she can't ignore what's right in front of her. His dad did that to him? To his own son?

"Zuko, why don't you leave, then?" she says before she can stop herself. "You don't have to stay, not with someone who… who did that."

He wears a surprised expression. "I already told you, I left once before."

Suki doesn't understand. "But why did you go back?"

Zuko doesn't look at her, moves his gaze to the ground. "My father… he said he needed me…"

"Needed you to do what? Run more horrible missions for his greed, secretly destroying the other nations so he can have power?"

"It's not that simple, I can't just turn my back on my family." She can see him getting agitated, but can't seem to stop pressing him on this.

"But they hurt you!" She thinks for a moment, finds the solution to a question that's been niggling at her for the past twenty minutes. "Is that why you didn't try to burn through the manacles earlier?"

" _Shut up!_ " he roars, and Suki prides herself on not flinching. "It isn't so easy, they're my family, my people, I can't…" he trails off, finally meets her eyes. "I can't just walk away."

Suki holds his gaze steadily. "Okay. But it sounds like you're involved with something you don't want to be a part of." And it looks like Zuko doesn't have an answer for her, because he rolls over onto his side. "I'm going to sleep."

Stellar deflection, she wants to say, but keeps it to herself. "Goodnight." She spends the rest of her shift listening to the way Zuko's breathing never quite evens out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my head, Kya and Suki's family both died in a battle that the fire nation goaded the southern water tribe and kyoshi island into.
> 
> come talk to me on [tumblr!](https://atleasttheresthis.tumblr.com/)


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